Where to start? Did I mention the eight separate neighbourhoods? The largest waterpark at sea with six record-breaking waterslides? And what about Surfside,an area designed specifically for toddlers,guarded by a giant pink flamingo,and which looks like it’s made of pastel-coloured ice-cream? My favourite space is the Aquadome,a massive open space at the fore of the ship that features the largest at-sea waterfall and,at night,hosts spectacular aquatic-aerialist shows in and around a deep-water pool. Behind this,at the pointy end of the ship,is the massive,glass-covered Overlook lounge where you can admire the view in space-age,mushroom-shaped pods. The main promenade features The Pearl,a massive kinetic sculpture that doubles as a major part of the ship’s infrastructure.
The stateroom
Stateroom on the Seas.
Life is too short to go through all the different levels and categories of suites and cabins (there are 31 of them). If that floats your boat,check out theCruiseMapper website for intricate details,layouts and 3D renderings. The most fun is the Ultimate Family Townhouse,a real-life cartoon space that sleeps eight,features a slide to get down from the second floor,a movie room,a games room and a piano-like staircase that plays notes as you walk on it. It also boasts a karaoke machine (a firm downside if you ask me). Other top-of-the-range suites have proper bathtubs and baby grand pianos (I kid you not). My interior cabin (shower,double bed,small lounge area but no balcony) is perfectly functional and faces across one of the neighbourhoods into the cabins on the other side.
The Overlook in AquaDome offers wraparound ocean views.
The food
With 40 restaurants and bars,there’s no shortage of places to eat,from sushi to upmarket wagyu steaks,top-notch Italian and an all-you-can-stuff buffet. The trick (if money is an issue) is to know which of them are complimentary and which are not. You could easily just eat in the Windjammer buffet for the whole voyage,but there’s also the Aquadome marketplace,where kebabs,crepes,fresh salads and fast Mexican are free. In general,the food is of a good standard,but it’s not haute cuisine by any means. There’s no Nobu or Curtis Stone or Gordon Ramsay here,but there is the al-fresco freshness of Basecamp,which serves up snacks like shrimp bao buns and chicken waffle nuggets. More formal destinations include the exclusive 42-seat Empire Supper Club,Chops Grille and Hooked Seafood.
Wellness
Does Crazy Golf count as exercise? The jury’s out on that one but the large fitness centre on decks five and six is the real thing,full of LifeCycle machines and a good ratio of free weights. There’s a running track to burn off that buffet,a FlowRider surf simulator and a Vitality spa (facials,massages,manicures). There’s also an outdoor sports court on deck 15 (basketball,soccer,pickleball) as well as a rock-climbing wall.
Entertainment
The Royal Theatre’s Wizard of Oz.
Apart from the Aquadome theatre,with its breathtaking waterfall,deep-water pool and all-dancing,all-high-diving cast,there is Absolute Zero,the largest ice-skating arena at sea,and the Broadway-style productions of the Royal Theatre. The ship is also blessed with other,smaller venues that feature stand-up comedy,a duelling pianos bar and,sadly,a venue devoted to the awfulness of karaoke. There’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it casino somewhere in the bowels of the ship.
The crew
The cynic in me wants to believe that these people can’t possibly be that polite,that helpful,that smiley and that friendly all the time. Surely there’s a little padded room below decks where they go to scream and rage at the idiot in cabin 253 who’s lost his key again. Look,they’re all excellent except one crew member with dog breath. This is Rover,the seven-month-old golden retriever who lives on board and is the ship’s Chief Dog Officer. He’s a bit ruff around the edges.
The verdict
These giant ships are not everyone’s cup of tea,but for families with children who want to travel and see the advantage of an all-in-one,something-for-everyone holiday,they’re just the thing. Icon of the Seas does all that with knobs on. It’s insanely,perfectly suited to its target audience.
The details
With Miami as its home base,Icon of the Seas will be calling in at ports in either the eastern or western Caribbean,with every week-long trip visiting Perfect Day at CocoCay,Royal Caribbean’s private island in the Bahamas. Prices from $3014 a person. Seeroyalcaribbean.com
Our rating out of five
★★★★★
SWELL
Sitting in the glass Overlook lounge with expansive views of sea and sky.
NOT SO SWELL
Looking across the promenade space from my interior cabin into the cabin opposite and seeing my “neighbour” waving hello.
The writer was a guest of the Royal Caribbean.