Then again,if the department is studying tortured poets,just as a sales department focuses on sales,no apostrophe is necessary. The telltale clue will likely lie in the lyrics when the album arrives.
Small beer,I know,yet Swift’s LP,and Anderson’s op-ed,did expose the passion we place in this marker of possession (such asGulliver’s Travels,by that other Swift) or omission (such asDon’t Blame Me,an earlier Swift single).
Grammar pedants have been swift to judge Swift’s new album title,but pop often plays loose with punctuation.
Cynics may suspect this whole “sic” trick as a ploy to plug the new record,but I hardly think a billionaire troubadour needs to be so crafty. Besides,songs have long traded in grammatical peccadilloes. If Mick Jagger can’t get no satisfaction,then logically he’s sated. And who’s game enough to challenge Dylan forLay Lady Lay? (“Say,Bob,I think you mean lie. And what’s with your comma allergy?”)
Purists would run a blue pencil through Pink’sNever Gonna Not Dance. Or send a memo to Van Morrison:“Sir,given the lack of hyphen,does yourBrown Eyed Girl have brown irises,or is she an olive-skinned lass with the capacity to see?”
No apostrophe in sight,and it might be all right.Kate Rose
Spotify lists teem with solecisms,from missing question marks (Pink again –Who Knew) to James Brown’s errant modifier (I Feel Good,rather than,well,Well),from Flaming Lips’ stolen verb (We a Family) to Bee Gees’ absentee gees:Stayin’ Alive,Jive Talkin’. While 2Pac’s anthemAmbitionz Az a Ridah is radio goo-goo.
Clearly the jukebox plays by alternative rules,smitten by sensational spelling,as the marketing trend is known. Krispy Kreme doughnuts,say,may well slump should they heed the dictionary,just as Froot Loops and Weet-Bix are cereal offenders. For every tin of Whiskas,there’s Dolly Parton’sWhite Limozeen. For each tub of D’lite yoghurt,there’s Smashing Pumpkins’Mayonaise.
Bringing us to Custard,and the 2020 email I received from the Brisbane band’s lead singer Dave McCormack,alias the voice of Bandit Heeler fromBluey. Dave was suffering insomnia,thanks to a grammar pickle. Desperate,he sought my counsel on a new song’s title,Couples Fight. “If there is only one couple having a fight,” he wrote,“then do they possess the fight?” Yes,we agreed. Check the sleeve notes and you’ll see we opted forCouple’s Fight,though that same squiggle could scooch up a slot,or vanish,depending on different lyrics.
The Custard plea proves how much artists care,as does Taylor Swift,with or without her poetic licence. Maybe in our tall-poppy tradition,we hold the megastar to higher standards,ignoring Olivia Rodrigo’s 2021 hitDrivers License,or Lil Nas X’sThats What I Want,which even my computer’s autocorrect found tough to pass. And where was the rumpus over that misplaced apostrophe in Skyhooks’ albumLiving in the 70’s,back when pedants roamed the Earth?
Because,quick! Now may be the time to resolve these hypocrisies,as the clock ticks. In a few Sundays’ time we’ll have Mothers’ Day,or Mother’s Day,or possibly Mothers Day:a trilemma destined to rekindle apostrophe politics,bound to torment every poet in the department.
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