As news outlets continue to report updates on the police investigation,and footage from the incident circulates online,some may begin to feel overwhelmed,while others may be concerned about what impact the tragedy could have on their children.
Adults and children can feel a range of emotions after a community tragedy,even if they weren’t directly affected.Composite image:Bethany Rae
Whether you’re struggling to focus at work,uncertain how to speak about it with others,or looking for ways to support a loved one,here are some ways to cope.
What you’re feeling is normal
The such as the Bondi Junction attack are varied and often profound,says president of the Australian Psychological Society,Dr Catriona Davis-McCabe.
Whether you were directly involved as a first responder or witness,or are a member of the community,McCabe says it’s normal to feel grief,shock,horror,fear,anxiety,anger and even numbness. “It can take a few days,weeks or even months to recover from a traumatic event,” she says.
Three young women lay floral tributes in Bondi Junction.Steven Siewert
Susan Heward-Belle,a University of Sydney professor who specialises in domestic and family violence,says such events can also encourage positive responses,such as increased empathy and compassion for others. “It may be a moment to pause and reflect on the significant bravery and contribution that police and other first responders display in service to the community,” she says.
The Bondi Junction attack has elicited a significant response from mothers around Australia,given a nine-month-old baby was wounded,and her. It also occurred against a backdrop of and children in Australia,Heward-Belle notes.
Several mothers have on social media,offering words of support to those struggling to comprehend the weekend’s events.
This kind of collective,public response is common,Heward-Belle says. “Mothers in our society are frequently people who come together and actively push for change and hold strong commitments to personal,family and community safety and wellbeing … In the aftermath of tragedies,[social media] is frequently a site that people turn to that offers a place for collective grieving.”
Ways to work through it
It’s important to take time and space to work through your emotions,says Dr Ahona Guha,a forensic and clinical psychologist who has. “Pushing them away or talking ourselves out of them is unhelpful,” Guha says. “Connect with others,take time off normal duties and allow emotional processing. For example,crying,yoga and journaling are really important.”
For those experiencing anxiety over their ongoing safety,Guha suggests deep breathing,using self-talk (for example,“it’s going to be OK”) and a gradual return to public spaces. “It’s important to remember that millions of people attend shopping centres and go about their business daily and safely. The risk of something like this occurring is very low.”
You should also ease the expectations placed on yourself at a time like this,she says. If you can’t focus properly at work,allow yourself ample breaks. But if you begin to experience loss of appetite,trouble sleeping or find yourself obsessing about the incident,Heward-Belle recommends contacting your GP or a psychologist.
Expert gives advice and tips on how families can help kids of all ages process the events of the Bondi mass stabbing.
Clinical director of Associated Counsellors and Psychologists Sydney Dan Auerbach says it’s also vital to avoid isolation and the over-consumption of alcohol and drugs.
Balancing your news consumption
At times like these,Auerbach suggests consuming media in measured doses,or it “can lead to a bit of a cycle in which we need more reassurance,so we’re seeking out more facts which may be distressing”.
If you wish to speak to others about the incident,Auerbach recommends finding people who are supportive,considered and who will not escalate your worries. Determine a personal boundary around how often you want to speak about it and stick to it.
“If[the conversation] becomes too much,remove yourself from the situation,try to distract yourself and get into a different mindset. It might be exercising,watching a movie,meditating,or going for a walk.”
There is also no requirement to speak about the attack,Guha adds. “Processing in silence is absolutely OK. It’s better not to say anything than say something inflammatory and ill-informed.”
Navigating conversations with children
Experts agree it’s imperative for parents to check in with their kids and offer a safe space for them to process their feelings,says Davis-McCabe. “It’s important that parents encourage,not force,their child into age-appropriate discussion about their feelings. Children need to feel empowered in this process.”
Parents should offer a safe,open space for their children to speak about how the tragedy made them feel.Dion Georgopoulos
“Younger children may also process their trauma through play,so continue to offer your child opportunities to do so with them in a healthy way,and reassure them that what they are feeling is normal and will pass.”
Auerbach also notes the possibility of transient regression among some children during such periods,such as an eight or nine-year-old wetting the bed. They may benefit from additional comforts,such as sleeping with the lights on,but parents should then very gradually reintroduce normal routines.
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