I’ve shown it to friends,family and colleagues and nobody can work out why it’s inappropriate. Any ideas?
We’re not going to publish the post for obvious reasons,but part of me wishes we could – to show how innocuous it is. Your friends,family and colleagues aren’t missing some obvious ambiguity:this is,as you say,thoroughly uncontroversial. And,although what you’re talking about might be considered a very mild gripe,the tone is so light-hearted and optimistic that it couldn’t possibly be considered rude.
It’s a bit of a mystery,to be honest,although I have one suggestion that may help you get closer to an answer than you are now.
When we write public opinions on social media (or in the pages of a newspaper,for that matter),there’s lots of room for reading between the lines. In fact,we expect and require it if we want our message to be understood. The medium demands brevity;we’re not writing a book,which means we’re not covering every possible angle,perspective or counterpoint.
Sometimes this reader inference works really well,and a piece of writing conveys precisely what the author meant in just a few words. Or sometimes it works well because there’s humour or wit in what’s left unsaid.
This senior colleague may have taken your gentle,general bellyache and interpreted it as a veiled personal attack.
But in other situations,in an attempt to understand a ‘full picture’ from just a small sketch,a reader will misinterpret a short post. Instead of astutely reading between the lines,they’ll read too much into an aspect of the statement. That can cause confusion or even anger. And I wonder whether that might have happened in your case – in quite a specific way. To explain,I need to go on an astrological tangent – it’ll be a short detour,I promise.
Horoscopes are written in a very particular way,for them to trigger what’s known as the Barnum effect. That’s the psychological phenomenon in which a person reads a vague description and accepts that it’s uniquely accurate and applicable to them.
Usually,it refers to a positive assertion – “You will overcome a new challenge by employing your skill as a negotiator” – but because it’s relying on cognitive ease and mental shortcuts such as confirmation bias,it can also apply to negative statements as well.
I wonder whether this senior colleague has taken your gentle,general bellyache and interpreted it as a veiled personal attack.
It would certainly take a huge logical jump to “decode” your post in this way. But that might be a reason to show some compassion rather than meet their indignation with anger of your own. This person could be highly conscious of an element of their personality or work style and sees criticism of this trait everywhere,including where it doesn’t exist at all.
Of course,it may not be that at all. And I don’t want to pretend,like certain astrologers,that I have some kind of supernatural knowledge of what goes on in the minds of others.
Whatever has happened,it certainly seems like a misunderstanding. And your best bet might be to avoid any further reading between the lines and ask your aggrieved colleague what exactly they found so “inappropriate” about your LinkedIn update.
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