Could your colleague be coldly and cynically employing a tactic? It’s certainly possible.Credit:John Shakespeare
It’s awful to hear that these experiences have been part of your everyday work life for so long. And I’m so sorry that your attempt to bring your colleague’s behaviour to an end has only led to more distress.
Could they be coldly and cynically employing a tactic? It’s certainly possible.
What you’ve outlined sounds very much to me like what psychology researcher,Dr Jennifer Freyd has described as DARVO. It’s an acronym describing “a reaction perpetrators of wrongdoing … in response to being held accountable for their behaviour”. It stands for Deny,Attack,and Reverse Victim and Offender.This article by Nicola Heath sums it up really well.
Your co-worker’s lies may not be the product of grand delusions,but they are clearly an attempt to construct a false version of past events.
Although DARVO isn’t exclusively used as a cunning,fully thought-through gambit,Dr Freyd has found that it can be enormously effective. It’s classic gaslighting,and often succeeds in getting the victim to question or even blame themselves.
Thankfully,that hasn’t happened in your case – your abusive colleague hasn’t managed to shift your understanding of reality – but it may have shifted others’ perceptions. One of the other primary reasons abusers employ DARVO is to diminish their victim’s reputation and,so,their credibility.