How Bronwyn Bishop will save Australia from total destruction

Former federal speakerBronwyn Bishop’s political career never recovered from the revelations she billed taxpayers for a $5227 helicopter ride to a Liberal Party fundraiser.

But from the ashes of Choppergate,the party veteran has reinvented herself as a firebrand conservative pundit,recently going viral with her attacks on the Voice to parliament.

Her latest role has taken Bronnie to some rather strange places. Next week,she’s set to front an online event hosted byPat Mesiti,a former Hillsong minister (booted from the church after getting caught using prostitutes) and self-confessed sex addict turned prosperity gospel life coach.

Bronhawk down.

Bronhawk down.Cathy Wilcox

Now Mesiti may no longer be a Hillsonger,but his penchant for fire and brimstone remains,with an event description billing Bronnie’s words of wisdom as a lifeline for Australians living through seemingly apocalyptic times. The free event is titled:The Economic House of Cards.

“Australia is under siege and its people are being sacrificed,” the preacher-cum-mindset guru wrote. It’s a conclusion he says he’s come to by simply following his own research.

“We are seeing the total destruction of Australia. What is happening is straight from George Orwell’s1984,” Mesiti writes.

Thank God for Bishop,who will apparently reveal “how Australians are being sacrificed in the name of net zero,” and “why they want fewer people on the planet and don’t care how they die,” – plus a lot of things she can’t discuss in the mainstream media.

We simply cannot wait.

EDDIE’S EXCLUSIVE

Hundreds of Aussie rules enthusiasts who shelled out $230 for a seat at the Carbine Club’s Grand Final Lunch at Melbourne’s Crown Palladium on Tuesday got a bargain – the inside tip,at least 45 minutes in advance of Victorian PremierDaniel Andrews’ seismic resignation.

One of the speakers,former Collingwood Club president,TV host and general dude-around-townEddie McGuire, tipped that Tuesday would be the day many had been anticipating for some time,a surprise that was greeted by some cheering in the room.

Looks like Eddie’s found his old passion for the news business.

USE THE FORCE

CBD recently reported with much glee that the NSW Liberals were calling their November convention “A New Hope”. And now,we can confirm that the role of Obi-Wan Kenobi will be played by former attorney-general and high commissioner to the United KingdomGeorge Brandis,who’s set to give the keynote address.

The agenda for the two-day event does not make for revolutionary overthrow. There’s the obligatory address fromPeter Dutton,a review into the disastrous 2022 state election by former premierNick Greinerand Republican pollsterKristin Soltis Anderson will deliver a talk on winning over millennials titled “the selfie vote”.

The fun part will begin on Saturday afternoon,when it’s time to debate motions,most of which seem to have come from the Mona Vale branch for some reason.

According to the agenda,it looks like the party will be busy debating crucial hip-pocket issues close to middle Australia including support for nuclear power,abolishing the charity commission,defunding public broadcasters and reviewing university courses that talk about race and gender.

Finger on the pulse stuff as usual!

Day two will be mostly devoted to the real popcorn business of filling the casual senate vacancy created by the retirement ofMarise Payne. And since Vote No campaignerNyunggai Warren Mundinewrecked his own candidacy by talking up a treaty,that’s left former transport minister and moderate hopefulAndrew Constancewaiting in the wings,unless the warring tribes of the right can rally around someone normal enough to get the numbers.

PHONies

When you’ve got one of Australia’s most recognisable – and provocative – political brands you’d be smart to let it hang out there at every opportunity,right?

So it made perfect sense in 2015 forPauline Hanson’s One Nation to put its founder and most recognisable asset front and centre in the party’s name as it re-booted itself after a chequered first two decades on the scene.

Trouble was,electoral authorities around the country took immediately to using the not-exactly-catchy abbreviation PHON to identify One Nation candidates on ballots and the like.

PHON ... hardly electoral dynamite,right?

But now the party has moved to sort out this brand recognition problem,lodging applications with electoral authorities to change the official abbreviation (not the name of the party) to the unmistakable One Nation.

A man from the party told us on Tuesday he wasn’t aware of the uninspired PHON moniker actually losing votes from confused would-be supporters,but the party was keen to get “One Nation” onto ballots,especially before next year’s Queensland election,where PHON is planning a big push,running candidates in every lower house seat.

It’ll be a good test of whether Hanson and her brand still have their old pulling power.

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Kishor Napier-Raman is a CBD columnist for The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age. Previously he worked as a reporter for Crikey,covering federal politics from the Canberra Press Gallery.

Noel Towell is Economics Editor for The Age

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