Rappers are the coolest musicians on the planet,so why do their feuds feel so lame?

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Mere weeks ago,the best rapper of the past two decades,Kendrick Lamar,fired a lyrical stray shot at Drake,the most successful rap star of the era. Dropping a guest verse on Future and Metro Boomin’s new singleLike That,Kendrick took aim at both Drake and J. Cole,his closest contemporaries and rappers to whom he has always been invariably linked.

It’s the latest entry in hip-hop’s most time-honoured,and ridiculous,tradition:the rap feud.

Drake v Kendrick:Nothing makes a rapper less cool than the shameless publicity grab that is the rap feud.

Drake v Kendrick:Nothing makes a rapper less cool than the shameless publicity grab that is the rap feud.

That Kendrick dissed Drake is surprising for several reasons. The first is that Kendrick has typically held himself above the petty skirmishes and insults that so often swamp the rap game,allowing his music and lyrics to do the talking – the man won a Pulitzer Prize,for goodness’ sake! The second is that,if this feud was going to happen,surely it would have made more sense 10 years ago,when the two rappers were at the height of their powers.

But the reason for the diss is as certain as it is sad,the same purpose as every rap feud since the dawn of the 21st century:a shameless,desperate grab for relevance in a constantly shifting musical landscape.

For as much drama and media fodder as they provide,rap feuds are lame. Rappers are the coolest musicians on the planet,the very essence of swagger and charisma,yet these “feuds” manage to leave them looking vain and pathetic.

The modern rap feud can trace its history back to the early 2000s,as Jay-Z and Nas duelled for the crown of best rapper on the US east coast in the wake of the Notorious B.I.G’s murder. The rap game of the 1990s had been dominated by the battle between Biggie and 2Pac,a quarrel that resulted in both rappers’ deaths. Since then,the rap feud has been purely lyrical.

Much like Drake and Kendrick,Jay-Z and Nas came down on opposite sides of the hip-hop dichotomy:Jay-Z was a consummate hit-maker,Nas the lyrical prodigy. After years of trading veiled barbs back and forth,Jay-Z came in hot withTakeover. There was nothing veiled aboutTakeover,as Jay dropped scathing bars calling Nas a has-been,questioning his street cred and inability to make hits.

Nas responded with the greatest diss track of all time:Ether.Ether is an attack like no other,Nas going scorched-earth with some of the nastiest bars heard in rap music. He calls Jay-Z ugly,misogynistic,a copycat,a sellout,a fraud.

And then,in 2005,Jay-Z brought Nas out on stage and publicly reconciled. The beef was squashed,and the blueprint for the prototypical rap feud had been established. It has become a tried-and-tested method to generate some much-needed media coverage,and then move along once it’s achieved its necessary outcome – publicity.

The typical rap feud is fuelled by pettiness and insecurity,spurred by a trivial insult aimed at a rapper over some perceived slight or inadequacy. The targeted rapper will respond with some other veiled diss,and increasingly lame barbs will be traded back and forth until they get bored and make up.

No matter the characters,the story is exactly the same. The same insults – “too soft”,“fake gangster”,“they use ghostwriters”,“they copied my style” – with the same result. Eminem and Everlast. Nicki Minaj and Cardi B. Drake and Meek Mill. Eminem and Machine Gun Kelly. 50 Cent and Ja Rule. All vaguely interesting for a minute,now consigned to the annals of history as mere embarrassing footnotes in these rappers’ otherwise illustrious careers.

Occasionally,a young,hungry MC will take aim at the whole industry,like Kendrick’s explosive guest verse on Big Sean’sControl,or 50 Cent’s career-makingHow to Rob – announcing the ascension of a new contender and causing a genuine shift in rap’s hierarchy. Occasionally,a rap feud will result in a genuinely shocking headline – like when Pusha T revealed in his songThe Story of Adidon that Drake had a son with a porn star and paid them to keep it secret.

But those are the rarest of exceptions. Mostly,rap feuds are lame. The richest and most popular music stars in the world,reduced to snivelling toddlers throwing their toys out of the pram. Like most tantrums,they are best ignored.

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