It’s usually around this time that many people begin searching for advice that could help them make the year ahead more fulfilling – whether socially,professionally or personally. But good advice can be hard to come by,particularly if you’re not sure where to start looking for it.
Advice can come in many different shapes and sizes:online,in person,verbal,written and more.Nathan Perri/iStock
So,we’ve asked psychologists to explain where you can begin looking for advice when you need it,how to assess its quality and how to navigate offering your own words of wisdom.
Advice worth seeking out
People typically become invested in trying to optimise their lives around the new year,says Dr Ahona Guha,a clinical and forensic psychologist. “It feels like seeking advice is a common way of avoiding the pain and discomfort of failure or anxiety[from the previous year].”
It could be for relatively straightforward things,such as perfecting your exercise regime,improving your favourite recipe,getting a promotion,or even just learning a new make-up routine. It could also be for more complex matters,such as mending a fractured friendship or finding a way to better manage your anxiety.
Where to find advice IRL
Sometimes,the best advice is right in front of you. Psychologist and author Chris Cheers says it’s often the people closest to you,including friends,family and colleagues,who tend to know what types of advice you resonate with. Even if they aren’t equipped to give you advice themselves,they may be able to suggest where you could find it.
“Beyond that,it may be helpful to consider reaching out to people who have life experiences that are most like yours,as they may be able to best understand your issue or circumstance,” Cheers says. This could mean speaking to neighbours,mutual friends or community leaders.
“In many circumstances,we often don’t need advice,as we already know what we need to do. We just need support to help us do it,” Cheers says.
Of course,sometimes it’s difficult to approach acquaintances with deeply personal,serious or time-consuming qualms. In this case,Guha says she would suggest in-person specialised advice from a professional,such as a therapist,counsellor or doctor. This is especially important for matters of physical and mental health.
However,for less pressing matters,“expert” advice may not always be the best option. People generally respond to advice differently,Guha says,so it’s important to try different avenues to determine your ideal.
“There’s the risk that we become so reliant on seeking expert advice that we feel paralysed or like we cannot give smaller things a go,like attending a party and making small talk.”
Where to find advice online
Regularly seeing a specialist can become costly. If the advice needed is relatively low-stakes,then the internet could prove helpful.
Guha says podcasts,social media,YouTube,online columns,forums and even AI (such as ChatGPT) can be handy when sinking your teeth into an unknown topic,whether that’s cooking,fashion or time management.
“If it’s something that doesn’t depend on personal circumstances – like how to change a tire or bake a chocolate cake – looking to online spaces may be useful,as they offer a summary of many people’s experiences who’ve done the exact same thing,” Guha says.
Online advice can be helpful for those seeking straightforward,more generic advice.iStock
It could even potentially work for certain personal issues. A suggested later versions of ChatGPT gave better personal advice than professional columnists,with about three-quarters of its participants considering ChatGPT’s advice more balanced,complete,empathetic and helpful.
However,there are limits to online advice. AI is based entirely on inputs and is therefore biased,based on existing information,Guha says,meaning it’s usually more generic and superficial.
Social media advice can be useful in terms of accessing a variety of perspectives,however,it also requires a selective “take it or leave it” approach.
“There’s a clamour of voices[on social media] with everyone strongly believing their advice or view is the best,with little understanding of the needs of the person seeking advice,” Guha says.
Online spaces often take complex issues and simplify them into short text or videos,Cheers adds.
“The online often doesn’t ask you to explore the complexity of your specific issue,but rather[focuses] on giving you something that’s entertaining or watchable. That isn’t to say information online may not be helpful,but it should always be understood as the first step in understanding yourself – not the only step,” he says.
How do I know if I’m getting good advice?
When accessing advice,Cheers says it’s important to consider two questions:who is it coming from,and how does it apply to you?
“The more you can understand the knowledge base,life experience and qualifications of the person giving the advice,the more useful it will be,” Cheers says. “All advice comes from bias. Therefore,the first step when hearing advice must be to consider this bias.”
Consistency can also be key,Guha says. Once you’ve found a few sources of advice that resonate with you,try to return to them as similar conundrums appear. “Too much differing advice leaves us confused,and it’s not useful advice if it isn’t aligned with who we are.”
How should I go about offering advice?
Compassion should be at the forefront of any advice we give to others,but it’s also important to be aware of how much your own experiences influence your approach.
“Sometimes we think the best way to solve a problem is to solve it as we have in the past,” Cheers says. “However,that may not take into account the specific person you’re helping and how they may be different from you.” Unsolicited advice should also be avoided.
“It may often be more helpful to support someone by listening and giving them space to solve their own problems,” Cheers says. “Even though offering advice may feel more helpful to you,often just listening is the most important thing you can do to support someone.”
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