Sociologist Dr Zuleyka Zevallos says it’s,despite more than 200 years of migration since colonisation.
Sue Kang and her boyfriend Midy Tiaga met in high school and have been best friends for 10 years. Kang,who is Korean-Australian,and Tiaga,a Sri Lankan-Australian,say they didn’t see interracial couples like themselves growing up.Flavio Brancaleone
“When you look at the out-marriage rates,very few second-generation migrants will marry outside their race.” If they do,she adds,people are more likely to marry a person from a similar ethnic or racial group.
“It’s not about exposure or education,but because of social forces and this sense of difference,” she says.
Conversations about interracial relationships seem to be having a moment. There was the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Netflix documentary,and Harry’s bookSpare,in which he talks about his awakening to the experiences of people of colour in the UK following his by the press and royal family. New Netflix movieYou Peoplestars Jonah Hill and Lauren London as an interracial couple as they navigate their difficult families. And on the current season ofMarried At First Sight,contestant Sandy Jawanda was matched with an Anglo-Australian. Her Indian-Punjabi family refused to support her decision and did not attend the wedding,and Jawanda faced racist jokes from her on-screen husband Dan Hunjas’ close friends.
Of course,interracial relationships in Australia are not new,dating back to colonisation when racial intermixing was a way of ensuring whiteness prevailed. Migration,too,means that Australia’s demographic make-up is becoming.
So,what about those who do couple up with someone outside their race?
‘We didn’t see interracial couples like us growing up’
Sue Kang,28,and her boyfriend Midy Tiaga,29,met in high school and have been best friends for 10 years. They became a couple three years ago. “We were both ready to settle down,” Kang says.
Kang,who is Korean-Australian,and Tiaga,a Sri Lankan-Australian,say they didn’t see interracial couples like themselves growing up.
“The media reproduces existing racial hierarchies,so stories are still centred on whiteness,” even when we do see interracial couples,explains Zevallos.
When Kang began modelling full-time during COVID,her agent asked her to bring along her partner to be in the shoot. From there,they continued to model together and Tiaga was eventually signed to her agency. The pair have modelled together for campaigns that include Tourism Australia and Commonwealth Bank.
Kang says it’s been great to see “authentic real couples” like themselves “rather than it being left up to the casting director”.
Both being from culturally diverse backgrounds,they say they share a common understanding. “There’s a cultural shorthand in the relationship where things don’t need to be explained,” says Tiaga. “We’re able to understand each other as we share similar intersections.”
‘His extended family don’t know about me’
Maggie,23,and her partner Jay,26,(who are using pseudonyms to protect their privacy),met on Tinder in 2020. They connected over their passion for boxing.
Jay is Punjabi-Australian,and while his immediate family is aware of his relationship,it has been kept a secret from his extended family.
But Maggie,who is Anglo-Australian,also points out that it’s just uncommon to tell someone you’re dating in Indian culture. “‘Dating’ in the way that it exists in the West isn’t really a thing. People tend to be married or single,there isn’t really an in-between.”
“Being an interracial couple on top[of everything] is a bit more high stakes,so we have to be sure before telling the whole extended family.”
While she says it’s difficult sometimes to be so conscious about keeping their families separate,on the other hand,“it can also be easier because we don’t have to worry about other people judging us or having their opinions,” she says.
Nevertheless,Maggie and Jay are grateful that their relationship has been accepted by their immediate family. “Initially,both of our parents were more hesitant about dating someone from another race,but they kind of got over it and accepted it quite quickly. We’ve heard horror stories about some families disowning their children for who they are dating,so we are very lucky we didn’t experience that.”
‘When I’ve been in situations where I’m being attacked for my race,he steps up’
Nigerian-American Valerie Weyland moved to Australia from the United States in her 20s. She settled in Perth,where she met her now husband Robert on Tinder. The couple has been together for more than eight years,and have a nine-month-old baby. She describes their relationship as “open and loving”.
She says that her experience of dating as a black woman in California was different to her experience in Perth,where it’s rare to see couples that look like them. “When I was dating[in California],of course there were racial tensions,but it was not the same as in Australia,” she says. ”I dated whoever I connected with in conversations and through passion,there was a whole rainbow of people.“
Valerie and Robert Weyland have been together for more than eight years.Supplied
She notes that while Perth is becoming more diverse with pockets of migrants,she doesn’t always feel accepted in the community. The couple often encounters people who stare or openly voice their disapproval. “People don’t really have a healthy filter when they see a couple like us,” she says.
“Australians love to banter and crack jokes,but they don’t always have an understanding of what is appropriate or inappropriate.”
For Robert,a white Australian,being with Valerie has made him more aware of the discrimination many non-white people experience. “If you’ve never gone through it,it’s hard to understand,” Valerie sympathises,who says that it’s about “being patient with people’s process of understanding things”.
“At this stage in our relationship,we hold an energy of curiosity,we listen.”
And she says Robert is always the first to defend her. “When I’ve been in situations where I’m being attacked for my race,he steps up. He will be the first to say something.”
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