Turning 40:14 women share how they celebrated the birthday milestone

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How to celebrate a 40th birthday? From a big bash and climbing a mountain to eating a sausage in bread in the park,14 women tell how they marked the occasion.

Catriona Rowntree

Television presenter

GK Photogtaphy

I had a wonderful 40th. I returned to the place I went with my husband for our first date – Taronga Zoo,when I was around 29 or 30 – with my two children in tow. That night we had a really fantastic dinner party with my closest friends. We just laughed our heads off and had a really great time.

Sally Hepworth

Author

Sally Hepworth

Sally HepworthSupplied

There was a three-week period where we opened up between COVID-19 lockdowns,and in those three weeks,my two best girlfriends and me all had our 40th birthdays. And all three of us had girls-only lunches at our homes,which is really indicative of who we are in the sense that we don’t like men,we don’t like going out of our homes,we only like each other,and we love getting drunk in the security of our own homes. So I had a caterer come in,I had this glorious bunch of women who are all at different life stages:some of them had kids who had just left home,and they were becoming empty-nesters,and others had just had their first baby. One of my girlfriends was sitting there drinking wine and pumping bottles of breast milk at the table.

And eventually two people fell asleep,one of my friends with her face in her dinner. And – this is what I love about women getting older – this[other] friend,she’s around 50 so has had lots of good life experience,she doesn’t fall asleep with her face in her dinner any more. She went to the couch and procured a cushion,and then she leaned back in her chair and had it behind her head,and she just fell asleep like that. And I just thought,“We know how to do it now that we’re 40!” And I thought,“This is just a good,good night.”

Sally Obermeder

Television presenter and author

Sally Obermeder.

Sally Obermeder.Supplied

It was a bit of a let-down,as I was in the midst of my cancer treatment. So,it was a non-event,so to speak. I think I was very much like,“I’m happy to be here. Let’s see where I go from here.” It was definitely not the 40th I was expecting,but also,in a way,despite what was happening,it was still one full of a lot of gratitude.

Taryn Brumfitt

Writer/body image activist

Supplied

I had a bunch of friends say,“We’ve all chipped in. You can go anywhere you want to go,business class:New York,London,Paris. What do you want to do?” And I was like,“I just want to go to a park and eat a sausage in bread.” Because I spend so much time on planes,I just wanted to go to my local park. And that’s exactly what I ended up doing. And I was so happy.

Narelda Jacobs

Television journalist

Tāne Coffin

For my 40th,I wanted to climb a mountain. So my girlfriend at the time and I went to Bali to climb Mount Agung,which is probably the most dangerous mountain to climb because there’s no safety. So I spent several hours – it was about an eight-hour experience – just terrified. I seriously thought I was going to die on my 40th birthday,but it taught me a lot about myself:that I can keep going and climb a mountain. I just wanted to conquer something,to achieve something,on my 40th that I hadn’t done before.

Kathy Lette

Author

Well,as usual,I swung off a chandelier with a cocktail between my teeth. Women need to celebrate every milestone because,when you have children,you take the burnt chop,you never get the window seat,you always put yourself last. You’re tethered to the kitchen by your apron strings and your heartstrings … You’re psychologically tethered. So anytime you get to celebrate just being you,don’t feel guilty. Women have a guilt gland. Our guilt glands throb all the time as mothers – we never think we’re good enough. If we’re working mothers,we think we should be at home doing creative things with Play-Doh. If we’re stay-at-home mums,we think we should be out,striding the world stage with venture capital portfolios tucked up each sleeve. We just feel guilty all the time – and guilt is the gift that just keeps on giving. So never,ever feel guilty about celebrating your life and your sisterhood. Because my whole theme in life is that women are each other’s human Wonderbras – uplifting,supportive and making each other look bigger and better.

Yumi Stynes

Presenter and author

I can’t even remember. I’ve never been one for big birthday bashes and I particularly don’t like that kind of attention that you get on your birthday when everyone sort of looks at you and they’re like,“So,happy birthday!” And you’re like,“Can you please stop,stop saying that!” So,I don’t know. I probably had a dinner or something,but it was nothing big.

Lisa Cox

Author and disability advocate

Getty Images

My 40th was last year,so I had grand plans to have a celebration in Europe. Obviously,that didn’t happen[due to COVID-19]. My husband still made it special. He set up our apartment:he put “Venice” in one corner. We had drinks in “Venice”,then went and had drinks in my office,in “Paris” and “Berlin”. So I still went to Europe. It certainly wasn’t as I had planned or hoped,but nothing in my life really is,so that was how I spent my 40th. It was still a really,really great day.

Ada Nicodemou

Actor

Brendon Thorne

I probably celebrated it for about two years. It was like the festival of Ada! I always wanted to do something big for my 40th and I always wanted to go overseas,so we did. We went to Italy and Greece with a whole lot of my friends,we hired a beautiful villa in Italy,and it was a really great time. I’ve always been excited about turning 40. I’m not one of those people who hates talking about my age or was scared about the big 4-0. I was excited about it. I just feel like a real grown-up now.

Gorgi Coghlan

Television presenter

We decided for our 40th to have a Bachelor&Spinster Ball. Just down the road from our farm,there’s this gorgeous little RSL shed,and we hired that out with all of our friends. We made an executive decision:no fancy food,no catering,no canapés. We did dumplings,sausage rolls and meat pies. We had five bottles of Bundy rum on the stage that you just went up and helped yourself with,and Coke bottles. Of course,we had wine,champagne and beer and all that stuff,but we didn’t do anything elaborate. You had to dress in country and western and you had to dress a bit feral … and everyone just killing themselves laughing as they walked in. It was just that wonderful step into this decade of going,“We’re not going to have airs and graces. Pardon the French,but we don’t give a shit if people don’t like the food,we’re just going to have a cracker night with all of our friends.”

We put on really dodgy 1990s,1980s music – Madonna,Prince – and we got drunk and had the best night;I was still dancing on a wine barrel at about 3am. It was just a crackerjack night of relief,of excitement of … you get back to a beautiful rawness,and you don’t care,really. You’re getting to that age in your life where you know what makes you happy,you know who you want around you,and you don’t need the approval of anyone or anything.

Shelly Horton

Journalist and television presenter

I celebrated my 40th in Hawaii and that’s where my husband proposed. I totally stage-managed it. I’d already designed the ring. I had 20 friends and family in Hawaii for my 40th,so it was just perfect that Darren was going to propose while we were there. He got to do that great thing – he went and asked my mum and dad,which is just the cutest. Then he got down on one knee in front of everyone,and we had my 40th celebration that night. So,it was like a double celebration.

Paula Joye

Journalist and style commentator

Getty Images

I don’t like my birthday,but not because of age at all. I’ve got no problem with another trip around the sun;I’ve got no problem with getting older. I just don’t like birthdays and I haven’t ever since I was a kid. When I was 40,I had a 10-year-old and a five-year-old,so it probably was something like … I can’t remember it!

Emmylou MacCarthy

Author and presenter

The year of my 40th birthday,I travelled to New York and trained with an amazing choreographer,Kira Armstrong. She’s danced with some of the best,including Beyoncé,Jennifer Hudson,Lizzo. I hadn’t danced in 25 years,so I booked seven rehearsals over two weeks to try to learn some fun and easy choreography that I could take back to Melbourne. I hired the Rising Queens – a beautiful,body-positive dance troupe – and they learnt the choreography,too. Then we performed the dance at my 40th birthday party in front of hundreds of my guests.

Sarah Wilson

Author and presenter

Edwina Pickles

I put together a wonderful dinner party for 40 people on a rooftop in the middle of Sydney – and it was sustainable. So my poor friends had to be subjected to my whole zero-waste philosophy. I actually went and got a cut tuna carcass from the market,and we took out the cartilage from between all the bones and made this amazing tartare and put it in old tuna tins;that was the entrée. I then made all these salads and made everyone take the leftovers home. Everything was repurposed and reused. It was a fabulous night,actually – sustainable wine,zero sulphites. It was a really,really fun night.

Edited extract fromForty Favours the Brave (Echo Publishing) by Lise Carlaw and Sarah Wills,out now.

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