How you could be setting yourself up to fail financially

Money contributor

A few years ago,my husband took me rock climbing. Initially,I was pretty confident. “This looks easy,I’m pretty sure I can do it.” As I got about halfway up,I started to notice my thought patterns change.

“I don’t think I can do it. The rocks are too far out of reach. My arms are too short.”

Negative thoughts about money can buzz around like annoying flies,preventing you from making any real progress.

Negative thoughts about money can buzz around like annoying flies,preventing you from making any real progress.Simon Letch

But I was determined to get to the top. I slowly made my way up the wall,but the thoughts didn’t stop.

“This is it,don’t think I can go further. It’s OK. My arms are shorter than his. My upper body strength isn’t as good as his. It’s easier for him. It’s fine for me to stop.”

I kept going,trying to swat away the negative thoughts like annoying flies. Eventually,I made it to the top. I was exhausted. Not from the climb,but from fighting my internal dialogue.

This is what I see people experiencing in their financial journeys. What makes their journey so hard is the constant internal battle with negative self-talk.

‘Instead of trying the same things (that aren’t working),why not try something new?’

We know from research that how you talk to yourself matters. Research has found negative self-talk to worsen outcomes in the realm of sports and athletics,and significantly impact or predict lower self-esteem and loneliness.

When it comes to personal finance,I often find that people who struggle to make progress are also the ones who experience the harshest or least inspiring self-talk.

They buy into the thoughts that tell them:“I can’t do this,this isn’t possible,this isn’t working,it’s too hard,too complicated,too unattainable. What’s the point in trying?”

Here is what that can look like:

If you’ve bought into the idea that criticism inspires corrective action and improvement,it can be hard to see that negative self-talk is actually the thing holding you back.

However,imagine how much easier it would be to achieve your goals if you were workingwithyourself instead ofagainstyourself?

When you get on your own team,the whole journey is smoother,faster,funner and more successful. You stop doubting yourself,and can take confident action. Setbacks and mistakes don’t slow you down as much because you pick yourself up and keep moving.

How do you start to change negative self-talk?

I know this is a bit of a weird approach to improving your finances. Shouldn’t you be using a budgeting app,or researching investments,or cutting your Uber Eats spending?

But if you struggle with negative self-talk,there’s a good chance you’ve already tried some of those tactics before … and either they didn’t work,or it didn’t last.

So,instead of trying the same things (that aren’t working),why not try something new?

Paridhi Jain is the founder ofSkilledSmart,which helps adults learn to manage,save and invest their money through financial education courses and classes.

Expert tips on how to save,invest and make the most of your money delivered to your inbox every Sunday.Sign up for our Real Money newsletter.

Paridhi Jain is the founder of financial education platform,SkilledSmart,which has helped hundreds of adults become financially confident by teaching them practical strategies to manage,save and invest their money.

Most Viewed in Money