It’s the hushed admission that the person has (or will) inherit a significant sum of money.
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Of course,significant is relative. For some,this is $50,000 from a trust fund or financial help to buy a property. For others,it’s inheriting millions of dollars’ worth of assets. Regardless,the discomfort in each case is similar. There is an unease as they struggle to accept their privilege.
Sometimes there is a hint of confusion. Their gratitude is mixed with a purposelessness:How do I find the motivation to succeed off my own hard work now? Sometimes there is a feeling of guilt:Why should I have it easy,when so many spend their whole lives struggling for a small amount of what I now get to enjoy?
Often,there is fear of judgement:Will people think I’m undeserving of my successes? Will people judge me for the leg-up that I never asked for,but now get to have?
When I first noticed this,it struck me as an interesting phenomenon.
There is hypocrisy in wanting to succeed,but condemning those who do.
So many of us aspire to have more money and wealth. But when it comes in the form of a gift or inheritance,it suddenly feels different. There is suddenly reluctance to accept it. After all,society doesn’t make it easy.
We openly condemn those who receive financial support from their parents. We make crass assumptions of children who grew up in well-off environments:arrogant,entitled,spoiled,lazy.
Meanwhile,we open investment accounts for our children,hoping to one day give them more than we had. We work extra-hard to build wealth with them in mind.
There is hypocrisy in wanting to succeed,but condemning those who do.
This is an important conversation as we’re living in the time of Australia’s largest wealth transfer in history. Reports estimate that Australians aged 60 and over will transfer over $3.5 trillion in wealth in the next two decades.
But are the intended recipients prepared? Not just financially,but mentally and emotionally?
Today,I want to share some perspectives that can help you overcome the guilt,shame and confusion of inheriting wealth,and embrace the opportunity. Below are some of the perspective shifts that have helped people I’ve worked with.
It’s worth noting that these can also apply to all of us who enjoy any kind of financial privilege – from never having to go without food or shelter,to having opportunities like overseas travel,private schooling or extra tutoring.
Accept that we are all dealt a different hand:This is something so many of us have a hard time accepting. You don’t get to choose your birth lottery. You do have some level of choice around what you do with it,though.
Recognise privilege that is non-financial:Financial privilegecan be a big leg-up in life,but it’s not the only form of privilege that exists.
If you don’t have learning disabilities,if you aren’t a child of divorced parents,if you’ve never experienced war,if you’ve never battled serious mental illness,if you grew up in an emotionally safe and happy home,if English was your first language … you have privilege. Hooray!
When you start noticing this,you’ll start seeing thateveryonehassome privilege.
Use your privilege to its full potential – everyone benefits when you do:As a society,we should want people to enjoy their privilege,not feel ashamed of it.
Firstly,because when you disown your privilege,you deny yourself the opportunity to fully maximise your advantages.
You stay small,embarrassed,guilty,ashamed of your privilege. You try to do things the “hard way” to prove that you can. This slows you down and keeps you fighting unnecessary battles.
Secondly,you aren’t helping anyone else in the process. If you try to hide or deny your privilege,you aren’t using it to move yourself (or anyone else) forward. In some sense,denying your privilege is … selfish. The only thing it does is protect you from perceived criticism.
You could use the money to start a business (employ people and provide a valuable service to society),or you could start a foundation,or put the money towards a cause you believe in.
You could use your privilege in a way where others stand to benefit.
When you move past the discomfort of accepting that you have advantages that others don’t,you eventually come to realise that this is the only sensible thing one can do with one’s privilege.
Accept it with gratitude,use it to its full potential,and one day remember to pay it forward.
Paridhi Jain is the founder of,which helps adults learn to manage,save and invest their money through financial education courses and classes.
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