Even the most eager students have fears about going back to school

As schools begin to reopen,many excited and hopeful parents are surprised to find themselves facing yet another hurdle – the anxiety and fear of their children as they approach the transition from bedroom to classroom.

From Monday,kids in preschool,kindy and year 1 will be thrust back into the world of classes,sport,after-school activities and socialising,with their older peers to follow progressively afterwards. Many are apprehensive. Even those looking forward to life returning to normal have mixed feelings about what’s ahead.

Children are resilient but that does not mean they are not apprehensive about returning to school.

Children are resilient but that does not mean they are not apprehensive about returning to school.iStock

The pandemic has inarguably changed our children’s day-to-day lives,and the lockdown has dictated a narrowing of their existence. They have been in hibernation,a quiet routine of getting up in the morning,making their way to their desk,and spending most of the day there in solitude experiencing school through the detached prism of Zoom.

This routine is now firmly established. Whether they enjoy being at home or not,there is comfort and security in this routine. They are now facing change again and this stress is cumulative. Young people,having been through so much already,become more depleted with each new transition.

The start of an average school year holds many concerns for children – leaving the security of parents,coping with school work,making friends – but coming out of lockdown is more complex.

Children in lockdown have had very little social exposure and friendships may have dissipated. General activity levels have been low. As they return to school,their stimulation dial turns from 0 to 100 overnight. Parents have only to reflect on how they feel about returning to the workplace to empathise with their children.

Adding to concerns about friendships,many children have anxiety about falling behind with their work. There remains fear around catching COVID-19 and whether they will have to go into lockdown again.

While most children have concerns about going back to school,there is a subgroup of particularly vulnerable children. Children with separation anxiety fear leaving home,or parting from loved ones. The nature of lockdown is likely to exacerbate this condition,as seen after the first Sydney lockdown,with reports of children hiding under their beds to avoid going to school.

We can look to the experience of Melbournians when students returned after a lengthy lockdown. Families reported much stress in the build-up to going back to school,and these adjustment difficulties continued well into the first few weeks back. Parents reported that emotions were “all over the place” and took time to settle.

What can parents do to ease their child back in? The Melbourne experience reminds us that parents should be prepared for big feelings,not only in the build-up but also for a few weeks after children return,perhaps longer for some. Talk to your child and acknowledge these feelings. Remind them that what they are experiencing is normal and that many children are feeling this way.

Revert to typical back-to-school routines with bedtimes and getting up earlier in the morning. Ask them if there are new things they would like to try in their lunchbox or any stationery or clothing they need.

Depending on your child’s nature and what helps them to wind down,after school you might want to take them to the park,beach or an oval to run off some energy,or give them some quiet time in their bedroom if this is how they unwind.

Fears are best faced,not avoided. If your child has fears about returning to school,help them face these fears through gentle exposure. If they are concerned about friendships,start social contact gradually,by organising playdates with increasing length and frequency.

If they fear leaving you or home,ensure they have some time away from you to build up their confidence. A visit could be organised to grandparents,a family member,friends or a neighbour.

Lastly,be clear about what they can expect when they go back to school. Explain the expectations about mask-wearing and discuss which mask they are most comfortable wearing. Discuss “cohorting” and the likelihood of staggered breaks and separate play areas. Now,more than ever,reducing uncertainty for children is of vital importance.

Dr Rachael Murrihy is a clinical psychologist and director of the Kidman Centre,University of Technology Sydney.

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