And how wrong we were to write on the weekend that we could give our scalded eyebrows a rest from teal. If we could press one policy priority onto the independents ahead of an integrity commission and saving the world’s climate it would be for a more adventurous colour palette.
This column is a black-letter stickler to the laws of journalism,which decrees that endless speculation about the election date immediately segues into endless speculation about who is going to win,which after election night slips effortlessly into speculation about future job prospects for prominent government staffers who lost their jobs. But we didn’t quite think we would be undertaking the same task for prominent MPs who lost their jobs.
And given we can take the merest zephyr of speculation and transform it into 300 words,perhapsKristina Keneally,outgoing Senator for Scotland Island,who lost the western Sydney lower house seat of Fowler,could get her old daytime slot back at Sky News,which will be desperate for some left-leaning cred. Or there is always the Administrative Appeals Tribunal. An appointment there would be a laudable attempt by Labor to rebalance the blatant bias of previous Coalition administrations.
Fallen treasurerJosh Frydenbergcould go back to his previous jobs at Mallesons,or Deutsche Bank,but we think chief executive of Guide Dogs Victoria is more fitting.
Modern Liberal and former member for Goldstein on Melbourne’s baysideTim Wilson,who was defeated by teal independent Zoe Daniel,could return to his conservative think tank Institute of Public Affairs. to internal replacementScott Hargreaves.
Or what about founding the government relations firm Zimmerman Sharma Falinski,Public Affairs and Specialists? Slogan “Nobody Knows Canberra Like We Do”.
Team Turnbull returns
Talk about getting the band back together.Daisy Turnbull,daughter of former Wentworth MP and former prime ministerMalcolm Turnbull,attended an election night party thick with former Turnbull staffers reliving the glory days of PM29’s administration. Not so much the past being another country,but another multiverse entirely.
We have no idea about how any of the attendees voted and note DT’s strong endorsement of North Sydney Liberal MPTrent Zimmerman,who lost his seat.
But we did note the presence of some suspiciously teal-looking balloons in the corner of one privately circulating photo of the event. But was itAllegra Spender teal or Liberal PartyDave Sharma teal? Where’s the Pantone Colour Chart certification when you need it.
Attendees at the knees-up wereDavid Bold,Turnbull’s former principal adviser and former Shell executive as well as Sally Cray,chief of public affairs and comms at Bank of Queensland and ex-Australian Bankers Association,ex-ABC and ex-principal private secretary to PM29. Another party goer wasClive Mathieson,partner at spinners Cato&Clive,and ex-editor ofThe Australian/ex-PM29 chief of staff,plusHayden Cooper,group head of media relations at Westpac and ex-Australian Banking Association/Atlassian/PM29 media adviser/ABC foreign correspondent. Another attendee wasLisa Main,who has just taken a position as Turnbull’s press sec/adviser on most things. Main is married to Cooper. Small world.
Sharma Party no shindig
It wasn’t so jolly at outgoing MP Dave Sharma’s thank you party for supporters (well,what do you call a victory party when you lose?) Journalists at the function found themselves corralled into a pen and told not to venture beyond it. How very Nauru. And the Libs wonder why they lost?!?!
Teal is the new black
Everybody’s been talking about outgoing first ladyJenny Morrison’s fashion faux-pas,wearing a $929Carla Zampatti “celebration” dress as her husbandScott Morrison made his prime ministerial concession speech. Not only was the brand an unfortunate choice,given the late fashion icon’s daughterAllegra Spender was one of the teal independents who crushed government MPs in traditional Liberal strongholds. But so too the dress’s “sky blue” teal-like hue.
Much has been made of how the incoming Wentworth MP had a natural affinity with the Liberal Party. After all,her father John was a senior Liberal MP for several years. And the MP’s sister,fashion designerBianca Spender,wasted no time in demonstrating capitalistic values by turning her sister’s victory Saturday night into a sales opportunity,boasting “Teal is the new black. Explore the colour of the moment” in an ad for the $1195 petrol silk Isabella gown. As we said,Liberal to the core.
Hey Big Spenders
Wentworth was awash with high-profile teal T-shirt wearing volunteers for the Ascham-educatedAllegra Spenderincluding former ASIC chairmanGregMedcraft. Medcraft returned to one of his Paddington properties from his Paris-based role at the OECD last July. With at least two houses in the Wentworth electorate,another in Byron Bay and New York,he has all the time and money in the world to off his services to the teals for free in the fight against climate change (let’s keep an eye on his carbon footprint as we move toward zero emissions though).
Unlike the Liberal Party in Melbourne which had to recruit paid “volunteers” to hand out flyers on Saturday. An ad on recruitment service,Engineering People,offered $36.86 per hour to double-vaxxed candidates in the northern and western suburbs of Melbourne who “have great communication skills” who are “able to stand for long periods of time.” No doubt they stood longer than some of the sitting Liberal Party candidates.
SPOTTED:The 2.35pm Qantas shuttle from Sydney to Canberra was filled with sad and sorry faces Sunday,notably former Morrison government ministers including Nationals SenatorBridget McKenzie and Liberal SenatorAnne Ruston and their very dejected looking staff. Also aboard was a very perky Labor lobbyistSimon Banks,one of the four “wise elders” who orchestrated the return of theJulia Gillard government. There was a quarrel of very tired looking journos too including SBS chief political correspondentAnna Henderson,ABC political reporterMelissa Clarke,Rob ScottandJen Bechwatifrom Seven,Chloe Bouras from Ten,and a bunch of exhausted looking camera crew. Outgoing minister for superannuation SenatorJane Humewas also on an earlier flight to the nation’s capital to clean out her office. Let the ministerial wing document shredding begin!