Chemical imbalance on the Côte d’Azur

Don Bain of Port Macquarie writes,“‘Schizophrenia’ was a challenge bravely accepted by Sunday’s ABC subtitles – and rendered as ‘skit French Riviera’!”

“In addition to Ted Richards’ brilliant idea to dry dock ships (C8),perhaps environmental scientists could also implement a sea sponge breeding program to lower sea levels,” suggests Col Burns of Lugarno. “Also,could the C8 brains trust please solve a dilemma that has plagued me for decades:If I’m accelerating down a runway with 10 tonnes of birds in the cargo hold and they suddenly all take flight,is my take-off weight decreased accordingly?”

Fellow theorist Lee Featherby of Chatswood asks:“How cool would the world be if we turned off all the air-conditioning?”

Ryszard Linkiewicz of Caringbah South has delivered Betty Jacobs’ NSW Intermediate Certificate (C8) to St Catherine’s in person to take its place in their museum. “Thanks for your help,Lyn Langtry. It was a great feeling.”

“Clearly Rupert Murdoch is a closet comedian,senile or swapped basic mathematics for business studies at school when he says that he and his latest love are ‘both looking forward to spending the second half of our lives together’,” says George Zivkovic of Northmead.

Carole Dawes of Randwick is another Morris (C8) chancer:“My first car was a 1955 Morris Minor 1000,bought from my grandfather in 1975 for $135. He’d purchased it new,probably for less than what he sold it to me for. Apart from his pet mouse living in the clutch pedal housing,it had countless foibles:fastest speed (downhill in neutral) was 36 miles per hour;he’d repainted it by hand;the wipers didn’t work;the windscreen was two separate panels;the indicators were of necessity,hand signals,as the little orange arms[there’s your trafficators,Donald Hawes – Granny] had long given up the ghost;the passenger door was held by a rope tied around the bucket seat,with the suction roof rack adding a touch of finesse. It lasted a good five years. My parents were always content that I’d never get a speeding ticket.”

“Those were the days!” declares Nola Tucker of Kiama. “Herald Timelines from 1987 reminds us of the finesse and wisdom of Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen when he declared the Great Barrier Reef islands should be sold to developers. How many reminisce about the good old days? Days when a chap could buy a knighthood for a reasonable bribe.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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