“I get a real giggle out of those pretentious job titles and company slogans,” says Adrian Connelly of Springwood. “Apparently,a job vacancy is now a ‘situationship’,and I recently saw an elevator company’s vehicle with ‘Dedicated to People Flow’ emblazoned on its side panels. Sounds like the motto of a urologist or a laxative manufacturer.”
In joining the useful inventions debate (C8),Col Burns of Lugarno “can die happy if some genius invents three things:a remote control that can fast-forward live Test cricket,a reverse-microwave that can cool beer in three minutes and an app that transmits my wife’s mood to my smartphone in real time”.
“Not sure about the future,but two simple changes improved my life in 2022,” claims Glyn Bradford of Hawker (ACT). “Paper towel that tears into half sheets and spice jars with the name on the lid!”
Steven Ford of Kensington thinks that “Surely,a cordless garden hose (C8) would be connected to the cloud?”
“At what point in one’s life does ‘Costume scandal’ leave you?” wonders Peter Sweeney of Balmain. “I asked Santa this recently in Pitt Street Mall. He shook his whiskers and said in a sad way:‘As Santa,I think I get through the festive season,but who can tell?’”
Ian Glendon of Ashmore (Qld) has a handle on car park amnesia (C8):“A friend would put a sink plunger on the car’s roof,enabling it to be readily seen from afar. Unfortunately,one day the plunger was lost on the way home after it was left up there.” Bob Phillips of Cabarita adds that “In Louisiana we found an easy way to identify our rental car when we parked for the night at a huge motel. It was the only vehicle without a gun-rack above the windshield. It was strange going to bed knowing that every room in the motel was armed except ours. Turned out to be a quiet motel.”
As private school fees at some institutions hit $45,000 per year,including the alma mater of Carole Dawes of Randwick,she recalls,“My parents received this from my future headmistress in 1970 and gasped:‘Please be advised the fees for Forms I-IV (Years 7-10) will be $190 per term.’ I wonder what the inflation calculation is for 53 years? Is $570 now the equivalent of $45,000?” No,but you’re not factoring in the plunge pool.
Column8@smh.com.au
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