Let’s get fiscal

While Don Bain of Port Macquarie reckons that “Our smitten Coral Button (a name to conjure with) should have realised that Treasurer Jim (C8) comes from a long line of Chalmers,” Rosemary O’Brien of Ashfield isn’t convinced:“Jim doesn’t spin my pin. Dan Tehan,now there’s a man for the sensitive woman.” Well,Granny sure rates him,he always leaves them Wannon more.

It’s good to have Peter Craig of Dulwich Hill in your corner:“Methinks Jim Pollitt (C8) doth protest too much. A jape is not a ploy nor is it a scam. It is a joke or a jest. As the bard may have said,‘They have been at a great feast of languages,and stolen the scraps’.”

Who knew there were so many metrication pranks? (As opposed to japes. You’re welcome,Jim). Even the cops were getting in on it:“During my police days,I recall a fake circular being distributed among the troops stating that we were converting to ‘metric time’,” says Patrick McMahon of Paddington. “This meant 20-hour days instead of 24 with the resulting confusion over how this would apply to shifts worked,overtime etc. You can imagine the chaos it caused if only for a few hours.”

“If we moved to a four-day working week and a three-day weekend,does it mean that we would get double demerits on our roads enforced for every weekend?” asks a concerned Eric Sekula of Turramurra. And Les Shearman of Darlington wonders,“Why weren’t these column inches rounded up to C10?”

“Regarding catastrophise (C8),I was once offered a job with the government department responsible for the ‘creation of new words’,” recalls Unkle Cyril of East Corrimal. “I took it. It was a great opperchancity.”

Anne Baillie of St Georges Basin points out that “Nola Tucker may be interested to know that ‘apostrophize’ is also a valid word and,yes,even the Oxford spells it with a ‘z’. Apostrophized even appears in the poemThe Great Australian Adjective by W.T. Goodge.”

Clarence Valley denizens with a predilection for grooves packed with nuance and generally seductive tones are encouraged to take in the next performance by The Column 8 Conspiracy Theorists when they hit the stage at Grumpy’s Rock Cafe in South Grafton this Saturday at 6pm. We also thank founder,Stu,for his kind words on Column 8 in the band bio. Get around ’em!

Column8@smh.com.au

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