“Isn’t there a touch of irony that the West Australian Naval Communication Station is named after Harold Holt,who disappeared mysteriously from Cheviot Beach in 1967?” wonders Patricia Farrar of Concord. “One theory was that he was picked up by a Chinese submarine,so perhaps he’s trying to get home before the election.” Stephen Tait of Rose Bay agrees and adds “Peter Dutton has provided a reason to leave the porch light on.”
Scott Illingworth of Kiama notes that not all Eurovisionaries were able to Avagoodweekend. “I wondered if the reason our entry in Eurovision,Sheldon Riley,wasn’t successful was that the wider voting world doesn’t understand the concept of dangly fly repellant in his costume.”
“All these references to IKEA (C8) remind me of a German joke that says IKEA stands for Idioten kaufen eben alles,” writes Alexander Elliott of Bilgola Plateau. “It’s something to be said quickly under your breath,because it translates as ‘Idiots will buy anything’.”
Simon Dixon of Bolton Point is another to have experienced a (partial) near miss (C8) on the super slab:“When following a huge B-double down the fast lane of the M1,the massive vacuum it created caused a previously unseen 20ft sheet of corrugated iron in the grass of the central reservation to levitate. It hovered in a horizontal position at the level of my eyes. My partner and I made ourselves as flat as is possible within the confines of a car and the tin hit and demolished the offside light assembly but remarkably did little other damage to my 30-year-old Merc. The laundry basket was unusually full that day.”
“Given the price of silverbeet,it’s no surprise that at my greengrocer it now comes wrapped like a bouquet of flowers,” says George Manojlovic of Mangerton. “The way things are going,cabbage will soon be gift-wrapped,cauliflower adorned with ribbons and capsicums presented in a box set. Celery is on the way to becoming a collector’s item.”
Despite their cross-code skirmishes,Graham Bird of St Ives reckons cultural event “cooler” and rugby league tragic Bob Phillips (C8) has a fortuity before him:“I think he has a lucrative business opportunity in soliciting payments from event organisersnot to attend,” he suggests.
“As I crossed the street yesterday wearing a high-vis vest,some wag called out:“Hey ScoMo,where’s your hard hat?” reports Don Leayr of Albury.
Column8@smh.com.au
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