Qantas,ScoMo cop grand old roasts before Swans collapse

There are no cheap seats at an AFL grand final,but just look at the spot $4.5 billion buys you.

Seven bossKerry Stokes and News Corp co-chairLachlan Murdoch got prime position either side of AFL chief executiveGillon McLachlan to watch the game,after Stokes’ Channel Seven and the Murdochs’ Foxtel recently agreed to pay the big bucks in return for seven years of AFL TV rights.

CBD does feel,though,that Seven’s commentary team could have been a teeny bit more gracious to Murdoch. When the cameras picked up the trio,the men behind the microphones gushed about their own boss,Stokes,while if Murdoch jnr got a mention at all,it was decidedly muted.

Maybe they were afraid of legal action from the increasingly litigious heir apparent.

Murdoch and wifeSarah arrived late and left early.

With what passes for Qantas service and reliability right now,and the happy couple’s habit of getting around in a News Corp private jet these days,we wonder if they eschewed commercial back to Sydney?

McLachlan’s moguls

Unlike the truly dismal Sydney Swans,Gillon McLachlan had a huge day on Saturday,including an address to the AFL Commission grand final luncheon in the Olympic Room at the MCG before the game,which was packed with sporting,business and political heavy hitters including Prime MinisterAnthony Albanese,Opposition LeaderPeter Dutton,News Corp co-chairLachlan Murdoch and Seven bossKerry Stokes.

McLachlan had some kind words for the fellow chief executives in attendance,assuring them “the world hasn’t ended because they are not as good asAlan Joyce by the length of a straight”,channelling the league’s chairman,Richard Goyder – with his Qantas chair’s hat on – and his fulsome backing recently of the carrier’s under-fire boss.

The flak didn’t end there,with McLachlan noting he was “less good” than Joyce and that chairing the AFL Commission was a “thankless task”,rather like “chairing Qantas”.

When it came to his media partners,McLachlan very much stuck to the script. Stokes was thanked early and often for his part in securing the $4.5 billion rights deal with Seven and Foxtel. As was his son Ryan,who doesn’t even like the media. As were Murdoch lieutenantSiobhan McKenna and Foxtel bossPatrick Delany for “wading out into the deep water”. McKenna did the deal but it will be Delany who has to make it back to shore by recouping all those costs in Kayo subscriptions over the next seven years.

Zinger box

Anthony AlbaneseandPeter Duttonwere forced to spend plenty of time together,with both addressing North Melbourne’s traditional grand final breakfast before another encounter at the AFL luncheon.

Aside from Albanese’s well-documented “stop the boats” gag,the PM swung a boot at his predecessorScott Morrison for secretly swearing himself into several ministries.

“I’m really worried that when I was away last week in London,Richard Marles was the acting prime minister,so I’m worried he has sworn himself in as the minister to the Cats and approved yet another renovation of Kardinia Park,” he said,in reference to his Geelong die-hard deputy.

Dutton,meanwhile,used his speech to compare the AFL to politics,and the speaker of the House of Representatives to an umpire.

“He tries to speak his decision but gives a lot of free kicks to the other mob,” he told the audience.

“The teals are a bit like Greater Western Sydney,a cashed-up motley crew with a few extra draft picks but most of us are still wondering how on earth they got into the competition.

“The Coalition,on the other hand,is a bit like watching the Brisbane Lions. A merge of convenience back in the day,three consecutive premierships in recent history but couldn’t back it up with a fourth.”

Dutton also reminded attendees about a gaffe by former Liberal prime ministerMalcolm Turnbullbefore the AFL grand final in 2008.

When Turnbull was asked what footy team he barracked for,he responded saying the Sydney Roosters.

“So there’s hopefulness,” he said.

Ever the Sydneysider,Albanese predicted the Swans would take home the premiership by two goals.

Dutton,a Brisbane Lions supporter,sided with Marles,tipping the Cats.

“Our friendship,of course,has been tested in recent times because not only did he win the election,he took my job as defence minister. But I’m siding with Richard today,” he said.

Loved-up Levido

It’s been a harder year forIsaac LevidoOBE,theLynton Crosby protege and now London-based master of the political dark arts widely credited with helping deliverScott Morrison’s 2019 miracle,andBoris Johnson’s own landslide victory just months later.

Drafted in to Coalition HQ for the May election,and brought back to 10 Downing St earlier this year to help Johnson shrug off the scandals that engulfed his prime ministership,it looked like Levido’s Midas touch had been lost,as neither man’s political future could be saved.

But politics isn’t everything,and in better news,Levido recently got hitched to fellow Crosby Textor alum and former Johnson aideMimi Randolph.

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