Louise and David Helfgott. “Even though I’m much younger,I’ve often had to be the big sister,” Louise says.Simon Schluter
Louise: There was always music in our house in Perth,even though we were so stuck for cash that Mum once toasted bread on the heater. Looking back,I see that David was unusual:I remember him walking around the backyard on his hands.
When I was five or six,I was terrified that David and Dad were going to kill each other. In 1966,David wanted to study at London’s Royal College of Music,but Dad felt he was losing control. They were holding chairs above their heads. Dad was always the dominant figure in our lives,but I always tried to include Mum.
I was 11 when David came back from England after four years away. He was different. Before he went,conversations were linear;now there was this constant repetitiveness and segueing. Schizoaffective disorder has been his most enduring diagnosis.
In my 20s,after David had returned to his concert career after spending the ’70s in mental institutions,people would say,“You must be so proud to have him as your brother.” I’d never known how to respond:his talent had nothing to do with me. I never felt negatively towards him,though;I rejoiced for him. As I got older,writing became my go-to,a way to explore my feelings.
I remember visiting theShine set in Adelaide in 1995. Geoffrey[Rush] stayed in character all week,apart from a small celebration for David’s birthday on the Friday. It was the first time we got to speak to Geoffrey as himself. There was such warmth and understanding between them. I think Geoffrey was able to become David so completely because he understood him so well.
Even though I’m much younger,I’ve often had to be the big sister. Normally,David talks at 100 miles an hour,but when[his wife] Gillian died in 2022,he became quiet,saying only,“I miss Gillian.” She was his everything – and entirely responsible for his career taking off again in the ’80s. She even got him to quit smoking. They were such a happy couple. I reminded him that she’d had a long and happy life and that he still had family who loved him. He still lives in their house in Bellingen[in northern NSW].
David always says,“Everything’s planned,Louise.” I think it helps him absorb the difficult things he’s encountered in his life. He also likes to say,“You have to be in the now:you can’t change the past and the future isn’t here yet.” He can get very locked in the past.
‘[David] tells me that I’m his soulmate,then,after 15 minutes,he says,“I’ve got to go now and practise.” ’
Louise Helfgott
We talk on the phone regularly,usually after he’s had a swim and burnt off some energy. He often asks me to recite a poem I wrote calledScreen Rushes[about the making ofShine]. It’s a poem about hope,about his climbing out of the abyss and finding music again. He tells me that I’m his soulmate,then,after 15 minutes,he says,“I’ve got to go now and practise.”
I live in Mandurah,near Perth. One day,when David and Gillian were in town,my husband’s family organised a picnic on Penguin Island[off the coast of Rockingham];we laid out our food and went for a walk. As we return,I see a man,dripping wet,drinking our Fanta. I’m thinking,“Is that …David?” We get to the blanket and I say,“David,what are you doing here?” He’d just swum a kilometre to reach the island. He didn’t know it was our picnic;it was a complete coincidence. He drank the whole two litres of Fanta.
That’s David. There’s something so childlike about him and I feel such love and tenderness for him;it’s so special being his sister.
David Helfgott and Yantra de Vilder improvise on the community piano she keeps in the driveway of her Avoca Beach home.
David: I remember the night Louise was born,a lovely little girl,the cutest bubby I ever saw. Family is complicated,so complicated. Poor old Dad,woeful father. It’s history;it’s history. Get over it;get over it. How to get over it? A father should love;a father should love. Louise always had a soft spot for Mum,though – took her into her arms. I loved her for the little cheer when she was kind to Mum.
Dad and I tried to kill each other with chairs. Louise remembers us rushing with chairs. Sad,wasn’t it? How could such a thing happen? You wouldn’t think so in a family. It was awful. Louise and I just talked and talked and talked. I love Louise. I want sister love,sister love in place of a father. Why do I hang on to the father? He’s been dead for donkey’s years. Get over it. Well,I’ve got Louise’s love,anyway.
‘Dad and I tried to kill each other with chairs. Louise remembers us rushing with chairs. Sad,wasn’t it?’
David Helfgott
Louise loves Chopin’sRaindrops Prelude. I remember the harmonic progression in the middle of it. She wrote a wonderful poem calledScreen Rushes for me;I think it’s her masterpiece. I like the assonance,the duration;it’s musical;she understands. She wrote a play,too[Potchnagoola,in 2018,about the friendship between David and Australian author Katharine Susannah Prichard]. I know Louise is a genius. She was writing all about Poland,beloved Europe,my beloved Europe. She was being brave,getting into the great big world out there. You’ve got to be a bit social,you’ve got to play along. You can’t just be at the piano all day. You need friends and family.
We had the same father and mother;we lived in the same house. Blood is thicker than water. Until Dad threw me out. I think we all suffered under Dad. It’s all dealing with emotions,emotions. The pain,the pain.
I’m a big brother,big brother;do I feel like a big brother? I’m not sure. What can you do? What can you do? Louise remembers me as being different. I wasn’t always like that,was I? I was gentle and loving,like a fragile butterfly.
Life’s risky. Every time you go in a car,walk down the street,you take a risk. You have to live in the moment,be in the now. You can’t change the past and the future isn’t here yet.
When you look up at the night sky and the stars,how did this all come about? It’s a big question,isn’t it? I think that’s why it’s important to have special people in your life. Because we don’t know what is to be. All we’ve got is now. That’s where we all live. I love to see Louise. I love Louise.
To read more from Good Weekendmagazine,visit our page at, and.
