It has only been two months since the real Freedom Day (October 18,when schools reopened after lockdown) and here we are again,with a six-week-long window stretching ahead,during which we get to test our parenting skills on a minute by minute basis.
The children’s TV show Bluey often finds itself part of the culture wars.
Those of us who are looser in our parenting style were probably looking for emotional support,so the latest new episode ofBluey,“Pass the Parcel”,came at the right time.
For the uninitiated,Bluey is the wildly popular,Brisbane-made cartoon featuring a family of blue heelers.
The eponymous Bluey and her younger sister are mostly parented by their dad,Bandit,while their mum works out of the home,and the best thing about this arrangement is it’s not commented upon as anything unusual.
But now that contemporary parenting has become something of a competitive sport (there is even a show,produced by Nine,the owner of this masthead,that aims to find “the best parenting style”),Bluey often finds itself thrown into a culture war.
There have been arguments over whether the show is diverse enough in its representation,about the time Chilli (Bluey’s mum) appeared to be shamed for being a career woman (dog?),and various pieces of commentary on the attractiveness of Bandit.
Even that is contentious:Are women who find involved dads sexy just playing into the hands of the patriarchy? Why should men get extra kudos for doing what women do without any thanks?
Probably my favourite criticism of the show is that Bandit is too fun — he is constantly playing with his kids,setting up unrealistic expectations for normal parents who,say,put their kids in front of an episode ofBluey instead of playing with them.
The “Pass The Parcel” episode seemed especially triggering for some. In it,neighbour Lucky’s dad runs a game of pass-the-parcel at a kids’ party.
Horrified by the modern practice of putting a small toy between each layer of wrapping,so that every kid gets a prize,Lucky’s dad decides to do it old-school.
The empathic style,which can merge easily with the dreaded helicopter parent or the snowplough parent,is in vogue but some believe it has produced a generation of snowflakes.
“We are raising a nation of squibs!” he tells his dog-wife.
Lucky’s dad says the kids need to “suck it up”. He reverts to the traditional pass-the-parcel style,in which only the final kid gets the present,and the children are horrified. They cry and tantrum. “This isn’t the ’80s!” yells Bandit. Lucky’s dad gets cold feet and starts handing out $5 notes to the disappointed kids.
Eventually the youngsters adapt,and learn to deal with missing out on the prize.
Under “Lucky’s Dad’s Rules”,they calmly pass the parcel onwards without the expectation of getting something. They learn to be good losers.
Parents who play board or card games with their kids will know this battle well. Nobody likes to lose. Losing is a part of life. Nobody likes a sore loser. Nobody wants their kid to be a sore loser. Nobody wants their kid to be a brat. How do you prevent your kid from becoming a brat?
Interestingly,the other big television show of the week was the finale of,which has to be one of the most finger-kissingly perfect hours of television produced in the past decade.
It concerns the entitled adult children of media mogul Logan Roy,and in the season-ender we saw the children fighting over who gets the prize (control of the family business).
All the Roy offspring believe they are entitled to a prize,and their supreme awfulness springs from this sense of entitlement,as does their emotional insecurity. They are the brats who run the world.
“Pass the Parcel” was criticised for implicit judgment of a certain kind of empathic parenting style,where parents are encouraged to get down on their knees and see things from a child’s point of view.
It is a direct reaction to an older style of parenting in which emotions were to be got over rather than discussed.
The empathic style,which can merge easily with the dreaded helicopter parent,or the snowplough parent (who clears all obstacles from their child’s way),is in vogue,but some believe it has produced a generation of snowflakes.
These children have been taught to mind their hurt feelings so much that they elevate these hurt feelings above all other considerations.
I suspect the evolution of pass-the-parcel has much to do with the greater availability of cheaply manufactured plastic from China.
One thing I do remember from the 1980s is not having that many toys. These days,every household containing young children is constantly fighting back a tsunami of cheap,coloured,plastic stuff,plentiful and ever-multiplying.
I am not sure that Barbie needs earrings,for example,or wrist cuffs,but blame globalisation and better living standards.
Parents just want to make their children happy,and kids’ birthday parties are exhausting enough even before you add ideology.Bluey is just a reflection of the times,not a reason to run to the barricades.
In fact,Bluey depicts lots of flawed parenting — Bandit swears and gets things wrong,he accidentally hurts his children,and in one episode he is busted taking their old craft projects to the tip.
In one of the new episodes,Chilli,the mum,is driven to despair when one child loudly plays the recorder while the other one recites knock-knock jokes at her. She says she “just needs 20 minutes when no one comes near me”.
Which is just enough time for twoBluey episodes. Bring on the summer holidays.
Twitter:@JacquelineMaley
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