‘I imagined she was one of the Hanson brothers’:Jonathan Van Ness on their first kiss

Jonathan Van Ness is a hairdresser best known for being the grooming expert onQueer Eye. The 35-year-old talks about the women who influenced their life,becoming friends with their idol,and meeting their husband on Instagram.

“I loved watching my mum put her hair in hot rollers every morning. It’s around this time I started thinking about styling hair.”

“I loved watching my mum put her hair in hot rollers every morning. It’s around this time I started thinking about styling hair.”Supplied

My maternal grandmother, Anne,was a big fan of perms. She would secure her set with pink tape at night and lived in my home town of Quincy,Illinois. She’d take me to school every day.

My paternal grandma, Judy,lived a few hours away,so I didn’t see her much growing up. Judy was diagnosed with stage four terminal cancer when I was nine. She outlived the doctor’s expectation and passed away on my 22nd birthday – it was bittersweet.

I have a tattoo on my back which reads, “Through kindness comes strength.” That’s dedicated to my grandmother because no matter what anyone said to her,she’d just smile and say,“I’ll get a second opinion,thank you.”

My mum, Mary,and dad,John,met in college. They were young and it didn’t work out;they divorced when I was five years old. They were much happier in their later marriages in life,and are still good friends today.

I loved watching my mum put her hair in hot rollers every morning. I was three years old and became fascinated with the U-shaped clips she used to hold her hair in place. It’s around this time I started thinking about styling hair.

My mother’s family owned and ran Quincy Media,a group of TV stations,radio stations and newspapers which they sold last year. Mum was extremely passionate about journalism. Media was her first love – other than her kids,of course. Being around someone who was so relentlessly passionate and unapologetically committed was very inspiring growing up. I was Mum’s biggest cheerleader.

My stepdad,Steve, is an amazing person. Mum married him four years after splitting from Dad. Steve has been really involved in my life and is the love of Mum’s life. Getting to witness such a patient,resilient and genuine connection between two people gave me a picture of what secure love looks like up close.

My first kiss happened in sixth grade with a girl called Bree. It was unremarkable because I thought I had to have a girlfriend,but in my mind I imagined she was[musician] Isaac Hanson because I loved the oldest Hanson brother.

I met actress Nicola Coughlan on Instagram in 2018. We have become best friends ever since. I loved her character onDerry Girls and she likedQueer Eye and wore a screen-printed sweater with my face on it. I was like,“Oh shit,I am a huge fan of yours,too.” You don’t always think you’ll find great friendships in your 30s,but we did. We did Zoom quizzes for 20 consecutive weekends during the pandemic with friends.

My life hero and icon is Michelle Kwan[two-time Olympic medallist and a godmother of American figure skating]. She is extremely talented and humble and also a really close friend. Yes,I became friends with my idol. She was also a guest on my podcast,Getting Curious.

There have been broken hearts in relationships and some drug-taking in my life that have made me who I am. It got pretty tough and rough for me,but curiosity and gratitude are the two things that have allowed me to survive the sexual abuse from my past to drug addiction and now living with HIV. In part that’s due to the great friends and family I have,and to the women in my life,too,who showed me strength of character.

I met my husband, Mark Peacock,on Instagram. I always wanted to get married but I didn’t think I would find the right person. I am so glad I did. We celebrated our two-year anniversary recently.

JVN hair products are available at Sephora. The Australian leg of Jonathan’sGoing for Comedy Gold tour begins in September.

Jane Rocca is a regular contributor to Sunday Life Magazine,Executive Style,The Age EG,columnist and features writer at Domain Review,Domain Living’s Personal Space page. She is a published author of four books.

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