Never before have so many glow sticks been raised at Rod Laver Arena by so many sober,little hands.
The world's biggest boy band played at HiSense Arena last time they were here,but on Wednesday night,one year and a second album later,One Direction filled the larger stadium in the first of eight sold-out Melbourne shows.
Before the UK fivesome had graced the stage,the mere sight of their name flashed across the big screens caused a chorus of near-deafening screams. By the time they'd arrived in person,you could feel the decibels in your chest. So why all the fuss? Well,in the words of Harry Styles,each and every one is cute as a button. None of the lads might boast the fancy footwork of say,Justin Timberlake or Usher,but to millions of female fans,their pretty faces and carefully cultivated good boy/bad boy aesthetics (clean cut,coiffed hair,mini-muscles,tattoos) are winning enough in their own right.
Their voices too,sing-songy and sweet,are perfectly pitched at their tween girl demographic. Both individually and as a collective,they're impressively tuneful live,and as they break into one catchy confection after another it's easy for even the uninitiated to begin to understand the appeal.
A lot of it sounds the same,but with hooks this catchy it hardly matters. Angst-melting lyrics like"You don't know you're beautiful/That's what makes you beautiful"ensure that millions of 1D bedroom shrines around the globe are parent-sanctioned,and saw plenty of minders both bored and bemused join an army of tweens and littler ones on Wednesday night.
Over two hours and twenty minutes,the pop hits and ballads – including one dedicated to Liam's grandfather,who passed away the day the boys arrived in Australia – came thick and fast. While painful for older members of the audience,padding in the form of reading fans'tweets aloud didn't do much to dull the screams of their young admirers. Mentioning that the Melbourne crowd were the"best ever"– something that seemed to happen at two-minute intervals – sent the volume off the charts.
The boys,all around the age of 20,have grown up a bit over the past year - trading their preppy polos and chinos for tatts and an increasingly edgy sense of style that suggests their wholesome bubble might only last another album or two before bursting.
For now though,to an adoring crowd alternately swaying and thrashing their glowsticks with the sort of unbridled joy usually seen among toddlers at a Wiggles concert,an evening with One Direction will go down as the best night ever.