I’ve read the book and think it’s great. It’s everything this mother of teens would want a sex-ed resource to be:engaging and informative without being prescriptive. And it’s highly appropriate for the teen group it’s marketed to. There’s no doubt it’s detailed;I confess I learned a thing or two and definitely would have benefitted from reading it during my teen years.
Dr Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes’ new book Welcome to Sex has sparked a fresh moral panic.Louise Kennerley
ReadingWelcome to Sex as a parent reminds me that I have a long-held complaint about our reluctance to discuss even the basic anatomy that allows us to have sex. You see,by age seven,my kids could name all the major bones and most of the body’s organs,yet the books and apps they were learning from completely neglected the reproductive system.
That’s odd because all kids have genitals and many are hugely curious about them from a very young age. So let’s teach children the names for their bits – both formal names and nicknames. I’m shocked that many adults – including – either don’t know what a vulva is or use the word vagina instead. Sure,the two are connected but the difference is very significant when it comes to talking to a medical professional and learning about sex.
I advocate for all “human body” books to include the names and anatomical details of vulvas,vaginas and penises as well as hearts,femurs and lungs.
In addition to learning language so we can think,and talk about,our genitals and sex,another key concept behind any age-appropriate sex education is that knowledge equals power. Not power over others but,far more importantly,the power to understand yourself and therefore make informed decisions. I worry about what power those objecting toWelcome to Sex are trying to hold on to,and therefore deny others.
Illustration:Simon Letch.
I suspect the furore over this new book,co-written by former Dolly Doctor Melissa Kang and all-round commentator Yumi Stynes,is smaller than our social-media outrage-driven world would like us to believe. However,it’s resulted in enough face-to-face abuse that Big W withdrew the book from sale in-store. I would like to say the furore is old-fashioned but,sadly,a return to 1950s-era gender norms and repression seems to be the aim of some sections of our society.
It’s not as if sex-ed books are new. My daughter has a copy of Kaz Cooke’s excellentGirl Talk which covers similar content (as well as puberty and other teen issues) in an equally up-front way. I grew up in the era ofWhere Did I Come From?,a book from 1974 that’s aimed at primary school-aged children.
Under 10 is an ideal age to introduce the basic concepts of sex and reproduction as,before puberty and the consequential embarrassment hits,kids are easily able to take in new knowledge without any of the baggage we adults might carry. At ages four and six,my kids happily accepted that one of their uncles was in love with another man and one answered their own question about how they could have a baby with the simple suggestion:“I guess they could ask a friend for help.”
Fortunately,our understanding of different sexual orientations and gender have come a long way since my teen years when one of my friend’s parents hired a detective to work out whether their son was gay. When I asked my now-teenage kids whether anyone bullies transgender kids at school,they were clear that,in the unlikely situation that someone did,they’d be shut down by peers well before teachers got involved.
I am left wondering what the parents opposed toWelcome to Sex want for their kids. Do they not want them to develop a healthy approach to enjoying their bodies in a safe way? Are they happy to leave them vulnerable to abuse,non-consensual relationships and teenage pregnancy because of a lack of knowledge? Would they like their kids to learn about sexuality from porn (or,even more scarily,from others who have learned about sex from porn)?
With,10 being the age of criminal responsibility in most Australian states,and 14even for pre-teen girls who are pregnant due to rape,I’d say that a factual book about sex is precisely what our tweens and teens need.
Vivienne Pearson is a freelance writer whose writing lives at