“When walking next to someone,a conversation becomes parallel play,” with each person “looking ahead yet connected by the exchange,” says Esther Perel,a couples therapist,author and host of the podcastWhere Should We Begin?
If you find yourself easily distracted by your phone,talking while walking can help you fight the urge to check notifications.iStock
To help you get the most out of your walking chats,I sought advice from Perel and Priya Parker,the author ofThe Art of Gathering:How We Meet and Why It Matters.
Consider a theme
Think about the sort of conversation you want beforehand,Parker advises. If you’re feeling creative,you may even want to give it a title,she says. Parker suggested four:
Wander Walk: Choose a neighbourhood or park you’ve never explored and “wander together and talk about things that don’t normally come up in everyday life,” Parker says.
Memory Lane: On this walk,talk about important memories that the other person may not know.
Struggle Stroll: You and your companion can take an opportunity to share something you’ve been struggling with “and just listen to one another,no advice,just deep listening,” Parker says.
Walk and Talk: No need to structure your chats;simply meet for movement instead of sitting at a bar,restaurant or someone’s home. “We walk and we talk,about anything and everything,” Parker says.
Or prep a few prompts
Walking invites easy conversation because we’re often more relaxed and open to tangents,Parker explains. “And it’s really hard to check your phone incessantly when you’re on a walk with someone else,” she says. “You’ll trip.”
There’s no pressure to come up with thought-provoking questions – simply spending time together on a stroll,away from screens and obligations,builds bonds. But prompts can make a walk more fun. Perel,a master of getting people to open up,offered a few reliable ones (some from the upcoming version of her card game,Where Should We Begin:A Game of Stories) to engage people in more thought-provoking discussions:
One of Parker’s favourite ways to begin a dialogue is to ask:“Have you ever had a nemesis? Why do you think they got so under your skin?”
“This often leads to passionate,quite hilarious conversation,” Parker says,adding that “it’s slightly transgressive,slightly naughty”.
Embrace a conversation’s drift
When we’re walking with another person,Parker says,the social norms around silence and talking tend to shift. “It’s OK to take a beat,which is its own kind of intimacy,” she says. “Some of the best and most random conversations often happen after long periods of silence.”
And if you need a walking companion,consider joining a group. oversees more than 1200 walking groups nationwide.
This article originally appeared in.
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