Hundreds more single women have sought to have a child without a partner in the past year,while thousands have had their eggs frozen,in an attempt to better their odds of having a child in the future after close to two years of disrupted and distanced dating.
Tash Godfrey - pictured with her one-year-old daughter Izzy - became a solo parent after discovering she had fertility issues.Scott McNaughton
Among them is Melbourne teacher and new mother Tash Godfrey,who said she never realised she could have a family on her own before noticing a poster for a “solo mothers by choice” support group while waiting at a Melbourne IVF clinic to discuss egg freezing.
“I knew I would have a family,no matter what,but I didn’t know that was possible,” the 35-year-old said.
“I think seeing that,that left something lingering in my mind,that I kinda never let go.”
For a decade,the number of patients undergoing fertility treatment in Victoria has been slowly and steadily rising,but the last financial year saw that trend amplified,with a 20 per cent annual increase in those accessing IVF and artificial insemination,to 15,674 patients.
“This is the steepest increase in people having fertility treatment that we’ve seen for a decade,” said Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority chief executive Anna MacLeod.
Fertility specialist with Monash IVF,Fiona Cowell,said she was “crazy busy” as an initial lull in demand at the very beginning of the pandemic was tipped on its head and people decided to have a child rather than wait for postponed weddings,or realised they had been trying to get pregnant for a long time and sought assistance.
“The poor delivery suites are heaving everywhere - private,public - the numbers are huge,” she said.
A huge part of her workload is egg freezing,which Dr Cowell said had “gone bananas”. She said would easily be able to see four or five women a day for egg freezing consultations if she had the room,but could only fit in two or three.
Single women in their 30s are coming to her who haven’t been easily able to meet people during the pandemic. Others have partners,but are early in the relationship or don’t feel financially secure enough to have a baby. Many more people are now openly discussing the practice in their social circles.
Professor Luk Rombauts,president of the Fertility Society of Australia and New Zealand,said he wished there were other solutions that made it easier for women to start their families sooner,including more flexible workplaces.
“Given that that’s not going to happen very quickly,I think this is a really good option.”
In the past financial year,there was a 23 per cent increase in the number of women freezing their eggs. Almost 5000 women in Victoria now have their eggs in storage.
Meanwhile,the number of single women using donor sperm for fertility treatment in Victorian clinics has increased by 48 per cent in four years to 866 annually,exceeding the number of women in same-sex couples using donor sperm (548 in the past year) - although that group has seen a similar rise in demand.
Dr Cowell said women told her that they didn’t want to settle for a partner “who is going to be a disastrous relationship” and then separate from them. Instead,they believed they could meet a partner after they’ve had a baby.
Ms Godfrey said she felt more urgency to have a baby after she discovered in her late 20s that her fertility was waning. One of her ovaries wasn’t functioning at all. After having one round of egg freezing,she dabbled in online dating,but knew it wasn’t for her.
“I wasn’t trying to meet Mr Right,I was trying to meet the potential dad of my children because that’s where my mind was,” she said.
“Three of my sisters fell pregnant in the year before I started IVF treatment,and it was just reminder after reminder that’s all I wanted. So I went back to the fertility specialist,and started treatment for myself.”
Ms Godfrey only had a very small pool of sperm donors to choose from. While demand from women has increased,the number of sperm donors whose sperm is available from clinics in Victoria has been on the decline.
She had been compiling an Excel document to try and decide between her top two donors. Neither felt right,until at the 11th hour when a new person appeared in the system. They wrote well,cared about children but didn’t want to be a father,and were happy for any future children to contact them.
“I think that’s important for a child to know where they come from.”
After one round of IUI (artificial insemination) and three rounds of IVF,she fell pregnant in March last year,giving birth to her daughter Isabel in November.
She had attended the “solo mothers by choice” support group before she was pregnant,which was busy with children,pregnant women and those like her who were contemplating the prospect of starting a family without a partner.
“I think that was a huge support for me making my decision. It just felt right. I walked into those groups,you felt like you’re not alone.”
Ms Godfrey is now planning to have a second child,while a close friend is also planning to have a child using a sperm donor.
“She would have never considered it had it not been so close to home for her.”
On the eve of,Dr Karin Hammarberg,a researcher and nurse with 20 years experience coordinating IVF programs,said people needed to be more aware that falling pregnant was not always easy,and IVF was not a reliable backup plan.
“Life doesn’t always go the way you want it to and you might not meet the person you want … but if you have a choice about having your first baby when you turn 32 or 33 you’re much more likely to have that baby then[than] if you start a few years later.”
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