But after eight years in an abusive relationship she reached breaking point,took her daughter and went to a family friend’s house.
Her ex had been a “very controlling,very evil person”,said Kathryn,who is using a pseudonym to protect her identity,“but he makes himself out to be a saint when he’s not behind closed doors.”
She had known him from a young age,and at just 17 years old he drugged and raped her.
“I felt very shameful and didn’t know how to get out of the situation,so it just kept continuing on. Then when I was 19 I fell pregnant.”
Kathryn said her ex’s proposal on the same day of a family tragedy was “the straw that broke the camel’s back” that fortified her decision to leave.
“I was just like,‘I cannot live like this anymore’,” she said.
Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit. Kathryn was only one of many women in a similar situation,with government restrictions creating an additional layer of stress on top of an abusive relationship.
Experts,highlighting how pandemic restrictions created the perfect setting for offending to continue.
“I started trying to get help from a psychiatrist but COVID made that very difficult. I was on a waitlist for six months and my mental health was declining,but I am very high functioning and good at hiding it,” Kathryn said.
She felt trapped in her house,separated from other family and friends,and had reached out to Lifeline almost every day.
“There was a time when he wasn’t working and that was hell;I had to wait until he was out the house to make any calls.”
Kathryn was also searching for a rental,but all inspections had “between 30 and 60 people” and almost nothing was affordable.
Out of options,she went to a family friend’s house. Her ex-partner went to police and asked them to conduct wellness checks on her in an attempt to regain control over Kathryn.
“I explained the situation to[a police officer] and she told me that he had seemed a bit shady and recommended I go to a women’s refuge. I was a bit unsure,I didn’t even know those things existed ... but he kept going back to the police station and the officer called me again and gave me a number to ring,” she said.
“Within the hour I had a spot,which never happens. The officer had clearly already organised it for me and she gave me the courage to go.”
COVID continued to impact Kathryn after she arrived at the refuge. She waited for months for transitional accommodation;much longer than before the pandemic.
“I didn’t want to leave. I felt safe there for the first time in my life. I had never known what that felt like before,” she said.
“I didn’t realise how much I had lost myself. I had not been myself since I was 17,I became such a shell of a person and when I went to the refuge... the other women helped me heal.”
Now she faces delayed court dates while she fights to stop her ex-partner from gaining shared custody of their daughter,and is waiting for government housing,which she has been told will take at least six months,even being on the priority list.
There is also an ongoing police investigation into the abuse.
White Ribbon Australia National Director Allan Ball said nationally,the past 24 months had seen increased family violence cases,particularly during lockdowns.
“Around 20 women have been murdered this year already ... it is on track to be a really bad year,” he said.
In March,a WA woman. They had been isolating together after testing positive to COVID-19.
The family of Shauna-Lee Headland:younger sister Shonnica,mother Janis and Janis’ partner Delson Stokes Jnr outside court in support of Veronica Headland as she called for more action to prevent family violence.Supplied
Her grandmother made a public plea outside WA’s Supreme Court for more domestic violence education for communities and families,as her granddaughter’s partner faced a magistrate via video link from prison.
“We need more to be done,we need the government to listen to us and to hear us because we will not remain silent,” she said.
“We need to start when they are young,if you have daughters and sons,talk to them ... we always thought this would never happen to us.
“Sit around your dinner table as a family and talk about domestic violence and what impact it has on families.”
found police records of family assault or threatening behaviour were 24 per cent higher than the three-year average before the pandemic,and 19.3 per cent above the five-year average.
Crime statistics released on Thursday also show an increase in reports of domestic violence-related assaults and sexual assaults since 2019.
There was also a spike in domestic violence-related homicides in 2020.
WAtoday reached out to multiple domestic violence agencies,which all confirmed they had seen a spike in cases and an increased demand for support since the start of the pandemic.
But WA Police,after refusing an interview with an officer in the domestic and family violence unit,said there was no correlation between the pandemic and increasing family violence offences.
“The family violence division note that although there has been an increase in reporting,they have not identified an increase in offences committed,” a spokesman said.
Anglicare WA family and domestic violence consultant Clare Brady claimed the pandemic had created a “pressure cooker” that had led to a spike in cases.
She said it had been incredibly stressful because the restrictions imposed during lockdowns were necessary,but had led to more red tape when it came to getting victims out of abusive situations.
“The lockdowns caused a lot of issues,with a big one being the movement restrictions. People found it hard to get away from family violence situations because they couldn’t leave their homes,” Brady said.
“The border controls,particularly the control on movement between different WA regions,also meant people seeking to move away from their abusive households had to apply for an exemption to do so.”
Brady said family violence situations could be compared to those caught in bushfires during the pandemic — they had permission to leave if their lives were in danger,but it had taken a while for that message to sink in.
“Those who were laid off were also spending all their time at home... there was less chance for victims to access phone counselling. Work from home requirements were also an issue,” she said.
“We have concerns that many cases actually went unreported because of these factors.”
A spike in alcohol consumption was also partly blamed for increased cases of violence. Brady said those who were already prone to anger issues or violence were even more likely to snap after drinking.
A survey from the,reported that in the 12 months to February 2021 a significant proportion of women surveyed experienced violence from their partner for the first time during the pandemic.
Two in five who had experienced physical violence before the pandemic also reported it had increased in frequency or severity since COVID hit.
The survey also suggested many women were unable to seek help due to safety concerns,leading to a significant proportion without access to formal support services,particularly those in isolation.
Institute chief executive Padma Raman said the number of women who reported experiencing violence during the pandemic,including first-time violence,was “cause for significant concern”.
“With some women who experienced physical or sexual violence reporting that they were unable to seek assistance on at least one occasion due to safety concerns,ensuring access to support services will be essential in our effort to end violence against women,including in unique circumstances such as the pandemic lockdowns,” she said.
“The relationship between financial stress and economic hardship and experiences of intimate partner violence is important to consider as we continue to recover from the pandemic.”
After dealing with all the hurdles COVID threw at her as she took steps to get away from her abusive partner,Kathryn said her next step was to find a place she felt safe in to call home,and to fight to make sure her ex-partner did not get shared custody of their daughter.
She said her goal was to one day study public health and get her “dream job” as a school nurse.
Although the pandemic has made these steps feel more like mountains,Kathryn is determined to climb them,for herself and her daughter.
Support is available from the at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).
Lifeline WA:13 11 14
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