McBride’s story should have been about a determined mother-of-two in recovery. Instead,it was cut short by a violent abuser who reached her through the cracks of a system entrusted with her life.
Carly McBride was killed in a horrific act of domestic violence. Her mother has urged the country to confront the reality of under-resourced services,particularly outside Sydney.Supplied
McBride was 31 when she went missing in the NSW Hunter Valley in 2014. Her wide smile beamed out from posters and news reports throughout wine country.
She was the face of missing persons’ week until her body was found outside Scone by bushwalkers two years later.
McBride had been murdered by a former professional martial arts fighter who she had met at a rehabilitation centre for men and women eight weeks before she vanished. Her mother had tried to find her a spot in a women’s centre,but there were no beds.
“When Carly[was killed] I got a letter from a women’s rehab saying she was accepted. That’s what should have happened,” her mother,Lorraine Williams,said through tears.
Lorraine Williams,mother of Carly McBride,who was murdered in 2014 by her new partner.Nick Moir
“It’s wrong,we tried everywhere,but then the women’s rehab came through right as she was murdered. I got the letter in the mail.”
Her killer,who theHerald has chosen not to name,is serving 27 years in prison for the murder. Last month,he lost an appeal to be released earlier.
“The injuries inflicted by the offender were extreme,bespeaking an attack of unrestrained brutality,” the sentencing judge said.
“In that moment,[he] intended to end her life.”
Carly was working to get her children back by going to rehabilitation.Supplied
It took two years to find her killer,a decade to seal him in prison.
Williams does not like to speak his name. Instead,she wants people to talk of her daughter and for the country to see the consequences of underfunding domestic violence,drug and mental health services in the regions.
“Nobody knows how to talk to me about it still,but I want to talk about my baby – I’m afraid I’ll lose it all otherwise,” Williams said.
“I want to talk about Carly,I want to keep her name alive.”
Police searching for evidence in relation to Carly McBride’s death,at Muswellbrook in 2015.NSW Police
McBride had battled depression and bipolar disorder in the final years of her life. Drugs and domestic violence followed.
“The mental health system didn’t help at all,” Williams said.
“I said,‘Carly you’re going to a woman’s rehab’. But she couldn’t get in,the long waiting list,just another barrier.”
Around regional NSW small support services have laboured under massive demand. The Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research has noted consistently higher rates of domestic violence assault in the regions than in Sydney.
Data released by the researchers shows the rate of domestic assault.
“I want to talk about Carly,I want to keep her name alive.”
Lorraine Williams,Carly’s mother
McBride was determined to get her life back on track and was in and out of hospitals,shelters and rehab centres trying to reclaim herself.
“There’s not enough support for women in that situation,not enough safe houses,” Williams said.
“We have to get more rehabs,more counsellors.”
McBride was accepted into a Central Coast facility in 2014 that treats men and women for drug problems. It was hours from Williams’ home – meaning the young mother was far from family support but surrounded by others in addiction.
Her killer,a professional martial arts fighter and drug addict,was spotted at the rehabilitation facility kicking a boxing bag so hard it buckled in the middle.
“How many fights would you have had?” a homicide detective would ask him in late 2014.
“I had 20 fights,20 wins … I trained alongside … the best in the country,and world champions,” he replied.
McBride weighed 50 kilograms.
The men and women mixed in the facility,sneaking down to the chapel to smoke and use their phones. Williams said her daughter’s killer “introduced Carly to the needle” in the short time they dated.
“All these men and women just getting it on,it was reckless,” Williams said.
“It was a resort turned into a rehab. I hated it. They’d all just hook up and leave.”
Williams had been taken from her own parents as a Bundjalung child and raised by a white family. She could only watch as domestic violence stole her daughter too.
“Domestic violence is treated as a joke,it’s normalised now. Why is it still happening? Why?”
Lorraine Williams
“I was just a baby when I was taken away,and now my baby’s been taken away,” Williams said,wiping away tears.
Williams is also a survivor of domestic violence. She recalls a former boyfriend who attacked her because she was given a good job and planned to move away.
“A young police officer showed up,I was covered in blood,and they let him go,” she said.
“They wouldn’t believe me,he nearly killed me. It was racism at the time.”
For Aboriginal Australians,Williams said,mistreatment by police,courts and all manner of authorities are recent memories. The trauma,she added,is ongoing,ingrained and intergenerational.
“I wish I had an answer,” she said.
Williams wants Aboriginal elders and senior police to commit to teaching children “as young as possible” about respecting women and avoiding drugs,which have flooded regional NSW.
Services responding to the crisis,she added,need to be culturally aware and trained.
“Domestic violence is treated as a joke,it’s normalised now,” Williams said.
“Why is it still happening? Why?”
In the decade since her daughter’s death,Williams has watched hundreds of women lose their lives to abuse and fears – “nothing has changed”.
“My heart bleeds for the families who have lost their daughters recently,” she said.
“This has to stop,it has to stop now.”
These days,Williams speaks to her daughter’s spirit constantly;about coffee,the weather,annoying neighbours and their plans once they are reunited.
“She’d laugh,and the whole street would turn around. I’d cook her lamb for dinner she’d say ‘shanks a lot’.” Williams laughed with the same booming chuckle her daughter inherited.
“Everybody loved her,everyone falls in love with her. She lights a room,she is sunshine.”
“We will hook up down the track. I know it.”
If this article has raised issues for you,support is available by phoning the National Sexual Assault,Family&Domestic Violence Counselling Line 1800 737 732;Men’s Referral Service 1300 766 491;Lifeline 13 11 14.
Start the day with a summary of the day’s most important and interesting stories,analysis and insights..