The stories also call for something many will find much harder:for hundreds of thousands of parents to have conversations with their sons and daughters about consent,assault and rape. They are conversations many parents won’t want to have. They will be difficult,possibly confronting and certainly awkward. They will leave “where did I come from?” in the dust.
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Can’t schools handle this? Why home,too? First,because the people who love your child the most live there. Second,your sons or daughters can open up one-on-one in a way they probably won’t in a classroom,surrounded by their peers. Third,when the adult/child ratio is one-to-one,not hundreds-to-one,your child will get to do at least half of the talking. Fourth,you can tailor the conversation to your child’s age,experience and cultural background better than any teacher or outside lecturer.
But where to start? Here is a checklist of questions that might be useful. Parents can use them as a guide,or just as some background cushioning. Some questions are focused on sons;some are for everyone.
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Have you seen or heard of sex at parties that has disturbed you,or is this all new to you? What does “consent” look like in movies or TV shows you have seen? What doeslack ofconsent look like in movies or TV shows you have seen? What do you think “good sex” and “bad sex” is generally?
If you have seen pornography,what did it make you think about how people have sex? How is the sex that it showed similar or different to the sex that most people have? What parts of it shouldn’t be copied into real life? How is porn not reflective of real life?
What could “lack of consent” look like at a party? Why do you think some people might not speak up,even if they don’t want the sexual activity? (Examples include being scared,in shock,drunk or stoned.)