In the space of a week,I’ve heard from my new bank,my super fund,Bunnings and Australia Post. These communications all followed some kind of transaction on my part,the companies wanting to establish a deep and meaningful “relationshop” with me.
There are varying degrees of intimacy in this new connection though we’ve hardly even met. The bank’s letter is warm and fuzzy:“We would love to hear about your experience with[our] term deposit”. My experience? I kissed my money goodbye for six months and got a confirmation letter. “We’re proud to have had you as a customer.” That’s very flattering. (You’ve been speaking to my parents?)
My super fund and Bunnings also employ the “love” word when wanting to hear from me,while Australia Post is rather more subdued,just saying they’d like feedback to happen. This is entirely appropriate if my only purchase has been a stamp. They have their pride too.
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And then there’s the hounding element. Like the new date who’s disgruntled you haven’t responded to their message,they give you a nudge. “A short while ago we sent you an invitation to provide feedback on your experience as a client,and have noticed you haven’t had a chance to complete the survey,” says the super fund.
These companies are all asking something of me. The bank wants to know how likely I am to recommend their services to family and friends (now that you’ve asked me,it’s highly unlikely),the super fund wants to know how satisfied I am (ditto). Most of the feedback requests come down to a rating from 1 to 10,the last being “highly recommend”.
But Bunnings goes for the jugular. “Thank you for shopping with us! We hope you’ll write about your Dulux 10L Wash&Wear Low Sheen Natural White Paint while it’s still fresh on your mind[sic]. Click the stars to get started.” What in the name of Premium Cow Manure? They want me to write about the thing I’ve just bought?